About Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
Source link Google.com.pkMany things have been said about Thanksgiving's ability to unite family, remind us of what we have and comfort us with great food before the long winter, but some of the best (and worst) things about the holiday have been said by comedians. Let's face it: as wonderful as the holiday may be, a day dedicated to football, gluttony and awkward family moments with a questionable origin provides more than enough material for a joke. Check out our 9 favorite quotes about Thanksgiving from comedians like Jon Stewart, Jim Gaffigan, Johnny Carson and more.
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
A Poem for Thanksgiving
Ξ
The year has turned its circle,
The seasons come and go.
The harvest all is gathered in
And chilly north winds blow.
Orchards have shared their treasures,
The fields, their yellow grain,
So open wide the doorway,
Thanksgiving comes again.
[Author: Unknown]
At Grandma's House Poems of Thanksgiving
I like the taste of turkey
Any time throughout the year
But it never
seems to taste as good
As when Thanksgiving's here.
Could be it's all the trimmings
That are cooked with it to eat-
But I think it's
eating at Grandma's house
That makes it such a treat!
Another Funny Thanksgiving Poem
Turkey Warning
Tell me, Mr. Turkey,
Don't you feel afraid
When you hear us talking
'Bout the plans we've made?
Can't you hear us telling
How we're going to eat
Cranberries and stuffing
With our turkey meat?
Turkey, heed my warning:
Better fly away;
Or you will be sorry
On Thanksgiving day.
A Lovely Thanksgiving Blessing
Thank You For Inviting Us
Thank you for inviting us
To your Thanksgiving dinner.
A day spent in your company
Is invariably a winner.
Thank you for the time you spent
Preparing all the food;
For making us feel welcome,
You have our gratitude!
Dear Lord,
Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:
God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm
and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.
And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.
Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.
You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.
I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scraps of metal
Takes me in to where they live.
By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.
Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.
Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox
And each person who hits 'send'.
When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayerHere are some Thanksgiving quotes in a lighter vein. These quotes are witty remarks about our attitude towards Thanksgiving. Look at the humorous side with these funny thanksgiving quotes.
George Carlin
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
Erma Bombeck, No One Diets on Thanksgiving
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Cornelius Plantinga, Jr.
It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general.
Russell Baker
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with 'gourmet' status.
Jon Stewart
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Johnny Carson
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
It wasn’t easy telling my family that I’m gay. I made my carefully worded announcement at Thanksgiving. It was very Norman Rockwell. I said, “Mom, would you please pass the gravy to a homosexual?” She passed it to my father. A terrible scene followed. ~ Bob Smith
What we’re talking about it a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? ~ Erma BombeckThanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, “How long has Mom been drinking like this?” My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, “Here, kitty, kitty.” ~ David Letterman
Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~ Johnny Carson
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
No comments:
Post a Comment