About Funny Quotes From The OfficeSource link Google.com.pk
Does your boss say stupid things? Then you have something in common with Jim, Pam, and the rest of the employees of Dunder Mifflin. Check below for just some of the funny lines thrown out at the office.
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The Office Quotes:
"This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago."
- Michael in Pilot
"I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third."
- Michael in Pilot
"One word, two syllables: Demarcation."
- Dwight in Pilot
"I think if I was allergic to dairy I'd kill myself."
- Michael in The Alliance
"This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her."
- Pam in The Alliance
"I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate... no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it... Nike."
- Michael in Hot Girl
"A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts?"
- Michael in The Dundies
"TMI? Too Much Information. It’s just easier to say 'TMI'. I used to say "don't go there", but that's lame."
- Michael in The Dundies
"The dundies are kinda like a kid's birthday party, and you go, and there's really nothing for you to do there, but the kid's having a really good time so you're kinda there. That's kinda what it's like."
- Oscar in The Dundies
"Yay, Kevin! Woohoo for Kevin, for stinking up the bathroom."
- Pam in The Dundies
"Having a bathroom is a privilege. It is called a 'ladies room' for a reason. And if you can not behave like ladies, well then you are not going to have a bathroom."
- Dwight in The Dundies
"This scented candle...andle...andle, that I found in the men's bathroom...room...room, represents the eternal burning of competition... or something."
- Jim in Office Olympics
"I'm an early bird and I'm a night owl, so I'm wise and have worms."
- Michael in Office Olympics
"I'm like... Mr. Miyagi and Yoda, rolled into one."
- Michael in The Fire
"Michael and I have a very special connection. He's like Batman, I'm like Robin. He's like The Lone Ranger and I'm like Tonto. And it's not like there was The Lone Ranger and Tonto and Bonto."
- Dwight in The Fire
"I hope the war goes on forever and that Ryan gets drafted."
- Dwight in The Fire
"I'm guessing Angela is the one in the neighborhood that gives the trick-or-treaters toothbrushes. Pennies. Walnuts."
- Pam in Halloween
"I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the 60s I made love to many, many women - often outdoors in the mud and the rain - and it's possible that a man slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing..."
- Creed in Gay Witch Hunt
Jim Halpert: Question. What kind of bear is best?
Dwight Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim Halpert: False. Black bear.
Dwight Schrute: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--
Jim Halpert: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight Schrute: Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?!
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael Scott: It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy, we're fine.
Ryan: I don't think-- I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael Scott: Oh, I'm sorry. What is, 'we're fine'?
Michael Scott: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Michael Scott: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?
Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
Dwight Schrute: Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time in now, check-out time is never.
Jim Halpert: Does my room have cable?
Dwight Schrute: No. And the sheets are made of fire.
Jim Halpert: Can I change rooms?
Dwight Schrute: Sorry we're all booked up. Hell convention in town.
Jim Halpert: Can I have a late check-out?
Dwight Schrute: I'll have to talk to the manager.
Jim Halpert: You're not the manager, even in your own fantasy?
Dwight Schrute: I'm the owner.. the co-owner. With Satan!
Jim Halpert: Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight Schrute: But I haven't told you my salary yet.
Jim Halpert: Go.
Dwight Schrute: Eighty thousand dollars.
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's, uh, you know. There's gambling and alcohol... And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know. Is that- is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael Scott: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
Ryan: What I really want, honestly, Michael is for you to know it so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, whomever.
Michael Scott: Oh okay.
Michael Scott: It's whoever, not whomever.
Ryan: It's whomever.
Michael Scott: No, whomever is never acutally right.
Jim Halpert: Nope, sometimes it's right.
Creed: Michael is right. It's a made up word used to trick students-
Andy: No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word--
Oscar: Obviously it's a real word- but I don't know how to use it correctly.
Michael Scott: [to camera] Not a native speaker.
Kevin: I know what's right. But I'm not gonna say. Because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night.
Ryan: Do you really know which one is correct?
Kevin: I don't know.
Pam Beesly: It's whom when it's the object of the sentence and who when as the subject.
Phyllis: That sounds right.
Michael Scott: Well it sounds right but is it?
Stanley: How did Ryan use it, as an object?
Ryan: As an object.
Kelly: Ryan used me as an object.
Oscar: Is he right about that--
Pam Beesly: How did he use it again?
Toby: It was, Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object--
Michael Scott: Thank you!
Toby: ...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object. Which is the, the correct usage of the word.
Michael Scott: No one, uh asked you anything ever so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull?