About Funny Quotes For KidsSource link Google.com.pk
There used to be a television show called, “Kids Say the Darndest Things”. It was hilarious. Hopefully, you will find these next quotes funny as well.
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus
Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. - Erma Bombeck
Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children. - Sam Levinson
Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. - Jerry Seinfeld
Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble. - Martin Mull
The real menace in dealing with a five year old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five year old. - Jean Kerr
Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop
Parent: want to go tee tee?
parent: want to go poo pee?
parent: want to go pookah? ( or whatever you word is for flatulence)
The child always erupts in laughter. Worked great for my 3.5 YO. She thought and then laughed at the joke about 10 times in a row until I decided to stop and make her and her sister ( who also laughed heartily ) leave the play palace with me at Burger King. My guess is that she evaluated solids, liquids, and gases, knowing that making gas did not require a trip to the potty.
me: you drive me crazy
master 3: I'm not driving you! I'M NOT DRIVING YOU! You are not a car, and you don't have a steering wheel on your tummy. I'm not driving you, you are not a car, you are mummy.
..can't debate his powers of reasoning, can we?
Last night I asked my 3yr old for the iPad to look at my pancake recipe, she replied "don't you know that my daddy is very clever and doesn't need the computer to make pancakes!" My husband uses a pancake bottle to make them! I was cooking them from scratch!
Miss 5: I want a pickle
Me: But we're about to have sausages for dinner
Miss 5: But a pickle is like a sausage
Sausage shaped maybe, but a lot greener and tastes very different :)
4 year old Jordyn said the reason the tree had a skirt was so you couldn't see its panties.
Melanie asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."
When talking about what colours we can make... What would happen if I mixed the red paint with the blue paint?
"You'll get into trouble"
"Mum, I know what dairy milk chocolate means. It means there's milk in it!"
"Yes, and dark chocolate doesn't have milk in it."
"Thats because it's made out of poo!"
Jack was watching his Mum breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mum why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"
I was drying the boy's hair and he was saying "Stop! Stop! Stop!" When I wasn't, he said "What are you, ear-blind?"
After bath one night..."My butt crack is broken. Mommy, you washed away my protective layer of dirt."
Brittany had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mum explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"
Know it all
My 4yo old asked me if I knew something, and I said "Yep I know that one, cause I know everything" Her very prompt and very forward reply to that was "No you don't Mummy, you're not God". I said, "Well God doesn't know everything". She said "He knows more than you"