About Funny Quotes To Live By
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funny quotes to live by.
Joey Adams
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
Sometimes by using funny words, you can make a point and entertain as well. Just like with a song, they can be enjoyable as well as educational. Here are some funny words that you can use to show people things in a different way, or point out something that they may not have been aware of. And you may just make them laugh, too.
Josh Billings
My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.
Samuel Butler
Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Elbert Hubbard
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
George Carlin
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
Rober Brault
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.
Djuna Barnes
Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.
Robert Bloch
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Margaret Thatcher
If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
Bill Cosby
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Sir Winston Churchill
Men occasionally stumble on the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
Funny Words to Live By
These are some really funny words to live by that are in a class of their own. They cover many different situations and usually make a good point.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Virtue is insufficient temptation. - George Bernard Shaw
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Cooking lesson #1: don’t fry bacon in the nude.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
When you eat a candy bar or have a wonderful dessert, have a diet drink. The calories are cancelled out by the diet drink.
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