About Funny Christmas QuotesSource link Google.com.pk
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus
― Bob Phillips
Last Christmas someone stole my present. I've spent this year living in the past.
― Terry Alderton
Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money
You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger
― Robert Paul
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.
People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
Katharine Whitehorn, Roundabout
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
Frank McKinney Hubbard
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
W. J. Cameron
There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries.
Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!
Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included
― Bernard Manning
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child
― Erma Bombeck
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin
― Jay Leno
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year
― Victor Borge
A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it
― Katharine Whitehorn
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas presen
There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph