About Funny Quotes From Movies
Source link Google.com.pkWe all know that there a lot of funny movie quotes out there but with so many things going on in our lives nowadays it's hard to remember them and we forget what's funny let alone the quotes from the movie.
To help you along on this little expedition of merriment and amusement, a random collection of the funniest movie quotes have been gathered here, so if you don't have the time to watch the entire film, well, these quotes are the next best thing. Hopefully these quotes will put a smile on your face, but remember don't take these jokes too seriously!
Domingo: Are you guys even real cops? You look like the kids on Halloween.
Tom Hanson: If them boys is cops, I'm DEA.
[Schmidt does a fake laugh]
Schmidt: I know! Right? I know! It's hilarious.
[Schmidt stops laughing]
Schmidt: So why don't you show us a little respect?
Domingo: Fuck you, pig!
Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Jenko: I'll beat your dick off with both hands. What's up? Let's go.
One-Percenter #1: That's weird, man!
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that...that your dick's just gonna fall off.
Register Woman: Guns. Mask. You sure you all don't wanna grab some condoms?
Nick: No. Why?
Register Woman: Because this is usually what men buy before they rape someone.
Chet: Oh, we're not rapists! Us two, small fries? No way.
[she gives them a cold unbelieving look]
Register Woman: Is it gonna be cash or credit for your rape kit?
[Chet put a box of hamburger slider kit on the counter]
Chet: Hey, is a slider station in a rape kit? Cause we're gettin' one of those too.
Nick: We'll pay cash.
Chet: Not into rape, just into sliders.
Mooj: Hey Andy, don't let him bother you. It's okay not to have sex. Not everybody's a pussy magnet. You, uh, what are you, 25?
Andy Stitzer: I'm 40.
Mooj: Holy shit, man, you got to get on that!
Alvy Singer: It's mental masturbation!
Annie Hall: And you would know all about that, wouldn't you?
Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.
Dr. Green: If you want to see me, you will not do this. You will make an appointment.
Melvin Udall: Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and then act like I have some choice about barging in here?
Dr. Evil: My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
Domingo: Are you guys even real cops? You look like the kids on Halloween.
Tom Hanson: If them boys is cops, I'm DEA.
[Schmidt does a fake laugh]
Schmidt: I know! Right? I know! It's hilarious.
[Schmidt stops laughing]
Schmidt: So why don't you show us a little respect?
Domingo: Fuck you, pig!
Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Jenko: I'll beat your dick off with both hands. What's up? Let's go.
One-Percenter #1: That's weird, man!
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that...that your dick's just gonna fall off.
Chet: Not into rape, just i
Mooj: Hey Andy, don't let him bother you. It's okay not to have sex. Not everybody's a pussy magnet. You, uh, what are you, 25?
Andy Stitzer: I'm 40.
Mooj: Holy shit, man, you got to get on that!
See more The 40 Year Old Virgin Quot
Kyle: You're gonna be fine.
Adam: Yeah.
Kyle: You're gonna be fine. Fifty fifty! If you were a casino game, you'd have the best odds.
Adam: Yeah. Thanks.
500 Days of Sum,er7
(500) Days of Summer (2009)
[Tom's boss reads the message on a valentine's card that Tom has written after he's been dumped by Summer]
Vance: Roses are red, violets are blue...Fuck you, whore!
Anchorman Quotes
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Ed Harken: A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.
Champ Kind: What in the hell's diversity?
Ron Burgundy: Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Quotes
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)
Ron Burgundy: Let me ask you something, and I'm not trying to be funny here. Are you sure he's not a midget with a learning disability?
See more Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Quotes
American Reunion Quotes
American Reunion (2012)
Jim's Dad: I have not had a night like that since the seventies.
Jim: [disgusted] Don't need this.
Jim's Dad: You'd be surprised what you can do...with a well placed thumb.
Annie Hall Quotes
Annie Hall (1977)
Alvy Singer: It's mental masturbation!
Annie Hall: And you would know all about that, wouldn't you?
Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.
As Good as It Gets Quotes
As Good as It Gets (1997)
Melvin Udall: Hi.
[shuts the door, turns and yells]
Melvin Udall: HELP!
Dr. Green: If you want to see me, you will not do this. You will make an appointment.
Melvin Udall: Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and then act like I have some choice about barging in here?
Dr. Evil: My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.
[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!
[Taggart finally finds a pen and paper]
Taggart: Could you repeat that, sir?
Gru: Clearly we need to set a few rules. Rule number one: You will not touch anything.
Margo: Uh-ha. What about the floor?
Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor
Margo: What about the air?
Gru: Yes, you may touch the air.
Edith: What about this?
[she holds a ray gun on her hands, the laser sight aimed at Gru]
Gru: Aah! Where did you get that?
Edith: Found it.
[Gru takes it away from her]
Gru: Rule number two: You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three: You will not cry, or whine, or laugh, or giggle, or sneeze or barf or fart! So no, no, no annoying sounds. All right?
Agnes: Does this count as annoying?
[makes annoying sound with her cheeks, Gru stops her]
Gru: Very! Stu Price: This is so illegal.
Phil Wenneck: Can't you see the fun part in anything?
Stu Price: Yeah, we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back seat. Which part of this is fun?
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics
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