tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52564149198557407122024-03-14T08:26:56.167-07:00Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-64289851605571776862014-07-24T04:46:00.001-07:002014-07-27T02:38:07.370-07:00Funny Relationship Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Relationship Quotes </h2>
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A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." <br />
Wife: "How would you describe me?"<br />
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."<br />
Wife: "What does that mean?"<br />
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."<br />
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"<br />
Husband: "I'm just kidding!" <br />
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?" <br />
After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem." Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”<br />
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-74260204071751637982014-07-24T04:24:00.003-07:002014-07-24T04:24:53.816-07:00Funny Sarcastic Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Sarcastic Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
<br />
You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.<br />
Now we know why some animals eat their own children.<br />
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.<br />
Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.<br />
If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder…it would be an apocalypse!<br />
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.<br />
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?<br />
When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.<br />
A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.<br />
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.<br />
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.<br />
Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?<br />
Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.<br />
Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.<br />
Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?<br />
He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.<br />
I bet you get bullied a lot.<br />
I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.<br />
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.<br />
I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.<br />
I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.<br />
I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.<br />
I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.<br />
I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.<br />
I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.<br />
I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.<br />
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.<br />
If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.<br />
I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.<br />
I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.<br />
I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.<br />
Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.<br />
People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.<br />
She's the first in her family born without tail.<br />
That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.<br />
There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.<br />
What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.<br />
Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.<br />
What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?<br />
You are not even beneath my contempt.<br />
You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.<br />
You grow on people, but so does cancer.<br />
You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.<br />
You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.<br />
You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.<br />
Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.<br />
You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-47629214340044006172014-07-24T03:56:00.003-07:002014-07-24T03:56:59.914-07:00Funny Quotes About Kids Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Quotes About Kids </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
<br />You shouldn't listen in on your sister's conversation with her boyfriend because it gets too mushy.<br />Lezlee, age 11<br />When your mother is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" it's best not to answer her.<br />Megham, age 13<br />I'll never take my mom's car out again until I can do it legally.<br />Lorie, age 14<br />Parents freak out when you have a party with loud music.<br />Eddie, age 10<br />Every time my grandparents sleep over, they snore through the night.<br />Megan, age 6<br />If you want something expensive, you should ask your grandparents.<br />Matthew, age 12<br />When I want to watch a TV show with my parents past my bedtime, my mom always sends me to bed no matter how much I fake being "absorbed" in the program.<br />Rebecca, age 11<br />Parents don't get enough appreciation<br />Susanna, age 17<br />You should never laugh at your dad if he's mad or screaming at you.<br />Jogn, age 12<br />My little brother's dirty diapers are worse than liver.<br />Matt, age 1<br />
<br />If mom's not happy, nobody's happy.<br /><br />Neely, age 13<br /><br /><br />If your mom's asleep, don't wake her up.<br /><br />Amber, age 10<br /><br /><br />You can play the coolest tricks when people don't know that you have a twin.<br /><br />Amie, age 16<br /><br /><br />When my dad says to be home at 11.30, he doesn't mean be in the driveway, but inside the house by myself.<br /><br />Elizabeth, age 16<br /><br /><br />If your mom picks your clothes and you dislike them, tell her they don't fit.<br /><br />Christie, age 12<br /><br /><br />You only have one mom, and you should take care of her.<br /><br />Sean, age 12<br /><br /><br />Every time I am at home and I am getting on my parent's nerves, they wish I were at camp. And every time I'm at camp and nothing's bothering them, they miss me.<br />Ashley, age 12<br /><br />My grandmother can say more in a sentence than a college professor can say in an hour and a half.<br />Angela, age 14<br />No matter how much I love something, mom will throw it away without a second's thought.<br />Brian, age 12<br /><br />My dad will never be color coordinated.<br /><br />Samuel, age 11<br /><br /><br />When you complain about doing the dishes, you usually get stuck doing them more often.<br /><br />Nichole, age 14<br /><br /><br />The older you get, the harder your parents try to keep you little.<br /><br />Emily, age 16<br />Even today, watching baseball with your grandpa is still a great American pastime.<br />Erin, age 13<br />You should never pick on your sister when she has a baseball bat in her hands.<br />Joel, age 12<br />I can remember what flavor of ice cream cone my grandmother and I shared at Disneyworld; but most of the time, I can't remember what day it is. I guess it depends on what you think is important.<br />Katherine, age 13<br />If you put your brother's hand in warm water, he will wet the bed.<br />Christopher, age 9<br /><br /><br />When you make a face behind your father's back, he turns around too quick for you to get away with it.<br /><br />Elizabeth, age 12<br /><br /><br />It's no fun to stay up all night if your parents don't care.<br />Carrie, age 15<br />You should never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.<br />Alecia, age 12<br />Every time I complain to my mom that I'm bored, she tells me to go clean my room.<br />Joanna, age 13<br />If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. Parents always catch the second person.<br />Michael, age 10<br />If mom says "no," she means it. If dad says "no," it means maybe.<br />Joseph, age 13<br />When I think about my grandpas who are dead, tears jump into my eyes.<br />Calen, age 7<br />Brothers are annoying until they get a car.<br />Leslie, age 12<br />No matter what I do, my mom can always tell when I'm lying.<br />Jamie, age 16<br /><br /><br />It isn't the best thing to dump a bowl of ice cream over your brother's head - no matter how mad you are.<br /><br />Laura, age 12<br />You can't play sick and then expect your mom to let you go to the mall after school.<br />Wendy, age 14<br />When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.<br />Morgan, age 1<br />Once you've lost your parents' trust, it's hard to earn it back.<br />Kara, age 1<br />You should not pick your nose because your mom will SCREAM!!!<br />Tiffany, age 8<br />If you don't like what the cafeteria is serving, just put some in your milk carton and you can get away with it.<br /><br />Brandy, age 12<br /><br /><br />I've learned that goldish don't like jello.<br /><br />Jlie Ann, age 9<br /><br /><br />Wise Beyond Their Years<br /><br /><br />You should always listen to older people. They are like living history books and can teach you so much.<br /><br />Cindy, age 13<br /><br /><br />It does not matter how much money a family has. If there is a lot of love in a home, that family is richer than any millionaire could ever be.<br />Whitney, age 16<br />My mom and dad love me no matter what.<br />Abbey, age 8<br />I should never make a decision unless I'm willing to accept the consequences.<br />Stacey, age 17<br />It's funny how God uses simple people to do great things.<br />Elana, age 15<br />The art of communication is not what you can hear bein said from the other person's mouth, but what you can feel from his heart and see in his eyes.<br />Leah, age 15<br />No matter how much you cry at night, things won't change nless you help them to change.<br />Nicole, age 17<br />Sometimes the most loving answer is no.<br />Leslie, age 12<br />You should always try, even when you don't think it will help.<br />Jennifer, age 11<br />It is OK to fail, but it is not OK to give up.<br />Kate, age 8<br />The color of people shouldn't matter.<br />Somer, age 10<br />A single flower growing where nothing else is growing is a beautiful thing.<br />Cindy, age 13<br />I should always try my best. If I don't succeed, then at least I will feel good about myelf.<br />Laura, age 16<br />Life is hard no matter how old you are.<br />Rosalinda, age 13<br />People are quick to condemn you for the things you've done, but they'll never give you credit for all the times you resisted temptation.<br />Heather, age 16<br />It's never too late to say you're sorry.<br />Laura, age 12<br />The truth is the quickest and easiest way out of trouble.<br />Sarah, age 12<br />Nothing hurts more than guilt.<br />Jessica, age 12<br />It is a good thing we don't always get what we wish for.<br />Rebekah, age 15<br />You should be careful around those younger than you. It is surprising how much of an impact a word or action can make on them.<br />Sarah, age 12<br />A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun.<br />Megan, age 14<br />One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was their love for each other.<br />Jamie, age 16<br />Someone is always better than you in one thing, but you are better than them in another.<br />Alecia, age 12<br />Trust is the most valuable thing you'll ever earn.<br />Susanna, age 17<br />You will never be happy if all you do is think about all the things you don't have.<br />Christy, age 17<br />It's good to receive compliments, and it's even better to give them.<br />Aaron, age 17<br />Experience is the Best Teacher<br />Ninety-nine percent of the time things aren't nearly as bad as you first thought they were.<br />Jessica, age 15<br />Piano lessons can make fifteen minutes feel like an hour.<br />Jack, age 9<br />Even though people claim to know what you're going through or dealing with, they don't.<br />Jaimee, age 14<br />What seem to be small gestures of thoughtfulness and kindness can mean lot - a whole lot.<br />Mary Allyn, age 17<br />If you want something in a cereal box and it looks really big, it always turns out small and crummy.<br />Katie, age 9<br />Every time you get a good seat at the movies, someone taller comes and sits in front of you.<br />You should never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble<br /><br />If you live with five other women, you have to get up bright and early to get into the bathroom.<br /><br />Meghann, age 13<br />One of the greatest feelings in the world is the feeling you get when your little sister shows that she admires you.<br />Dawn, age 14<br />I appreciate my mom more than she knows.<br />David, age 15<br />Parents have eyes in the backs of their heads.<br />Melissa, age 12<br />Despite all the loving and caring relationships in the world, there is nothing more loving than the feel of my mother's hand on my forehead when I am sick.<br />Rosemary, age 17<br />It seems like the oldest one always gets in trouble even if she didn't do it.<br />Sally, age 11<br />Parents should come with instructions.<br />Shanna, age 14<br />It's not always easy being a kid, but I bet it's even harder being an adult.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-89464375546403053712014-07-24T03:39:00.004-07:002014-07-24T03:39:56.275-07:00Funny Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Retirement Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
'The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.' Anonymous<br />He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams<br />'I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.' Charles Lamb. <br />'When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.' R C Sherriff.<br />'Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.' Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949.Funny Retirement Quotes<br />'It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.' Scott Elledge.<br />'When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.' Alexander Graham Bell.<br />'Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made.' William Shakespeare.<br />'Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time.' Malcolm Muggeridge<br />'A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.' Anon<br />'There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!' Groucho Marx<br />'I've lit the blue touch paper and found there's nowhere to retire to.' Doctor Who <br />More funny quotes.<br />Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did - Malcolm Forbes<br />The money's no better in retirement but the hours are - Anonymous<br />Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial - Seneca<br />I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy - Danny McGorty<br />Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it - Gene Perret<br />Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did - Robert Benchley<br />I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. - Gene Perret<br />A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job - Ella Harris<br />What do gardeners do when they retire? - Bob Monkhouse <br /><br /> You and your teeth don't sleep together.<br /> You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.<br /> It takes two tries to get up from the couch.<br /> Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.<br /> You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.<br /> Getting "lucky" means you remember where you left your car in the car park.<br /> Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt; doesn't work.<br /> You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.<br /> You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.<br /> You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.<br /> He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.<br /> She got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.<br /> His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.<br /> This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.<br /> This man has delusions of adequacy.<br /> Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; buy she only gargles.<br /> When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.<br />Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?<br />Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.<br /><br />Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?<br />Answer: Tied shoes.<br /><br />Question: How many days in a week?<br />Answer: Six Saturdays, One Sunday<br /><br />Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?<br />Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.<br /><br />Amusing Snippets for Those Giving up Working<br /><br /> Age is important only if you're wine or cheese - Unknown<br /> My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law - Jerry Seinfeld<br /> There is no sense in being pessimistic.<br /> It wouldn't work anyway - Unknown<br /><br />If My Body Was a Car - Effects of RetirementFunny Retirement car<br /><br />If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... But that's not the worst of it.......<br /><br /> My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.......<br /> My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather......<br /> My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.....<br /> It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.<br /> My fuel rate burns inefficiently...... Retirement Speech - Retest Motorists<br /><br />But here's the worst of it:<br /><br /> Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter: either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires<br /> You and your teeth don't sleep together.<br /> You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.<br /> At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.<br /> Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.<br /> The pharmacist has become your new best friend.<br /> It takes twice as long to look half as good.<br /> You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.<br /> 'Getting lucky' means you remember where you left your car in the car park.<br /> The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.<br /> You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.<br /><br />A Lovely Retirement Poem<br /><br />Train of Life<br /><br />Some folks ride the train of life<br />Looking out the rear,<br />Watching miles of life roll by,<br />And marking every year.<br /><br />They sit in sad remembrance,<br />Of wasted days gone by,<br />And curse their life for what it was,<br />And hang their head and cry.<br /><br />But I don't concern myself with that,<br />I took a different vent,<br />I look forward to what life holds,<br />And not what has been spent.<br /><br />So strap me to the engine,<br />As securely as I can be,<br />I want to be out on the front,<br />To see what I can see.<br /><br />I want to feel the winds of change,<br />Blowing in my face,<br />I want to see what life unfolds,<br />As I move from place to place.<br /><br />I want to see what's coming up,<br />Not looking at the past,<br />Life's too short for yesterdays,<br />It moves along too fast.<br /><br />So if the ride gets bumpy,<br />While you are looking back,<br />Go up front, and you may find,<br />Your life has jumped the track.<br /><br />It's all right to remember,<br />That's part of history,<br />But up front's where it's happening,<br />There's so much mystery.<br /><br />The enjoyment of living,<br />Is not where we have been,<br />It's looking ever forward,<br />To another year and ten.<br /><br />It's searching all the byways,<br />Never should you refrain,<br />For if you want to live your life,<br />You gotta drive the train<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-50087744010539184422014-07-24T03:22:00.000-07:002014-07-24T03:22:26.424-07:00Family Guy Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Family Guy Funny Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
The Best Family Guy Quotes<br />
Peter: Oh my God, Brian, there's a message in my alpha-bits, it says "Ooooooo"<br />
Brian: Peter, those are cheerios.<br />
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Peter: Excuse me, is your refridgerater running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.<br />
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Vacuum repairman: There you go, all fixed. Turns out a half-eaten meatball was clogging up the intake.<br />
Peter: Oh. Well, did you save it?<br />
Vacuum repairman: Uh, no.<br />
Peter: You bastard.<br />
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Peter: I'm not afraid of anything, I laugh in the face of Death. See HAHAHAHA.<br />
Death: Oh great! Thanks a lot. As if it wasnt already hard enough to fit in.<br />
<br />
[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]<br />
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.<br />
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Counselor: I'd like to put video cameras in every room of your house so that I can observe your uncensored behavior.<br />
Peter: Wow, just like that show Big Brother ... except somebody'll be watching.<br />
<br />
Lois: Where would he go?<br />
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and Crackerjacks.<br />
Brian: I don't care if he ever gets back. I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead.<br />
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Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.<br />
<br />
Stewie's Letter: Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie.<br />
P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever.<br />
P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.<br />
<br />
Pope - No one embarrasses the Pope and gets away with it [Looks up at the sky], SMITE THEM!<br />
<br />
(waits for a few seconds)<br />
<br />
Pope - He's cooking up a something good!<br />
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Stewie: Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.<br />
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Meg: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.<br />
Death: Well, that would just leave England.<br />
<br />
Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?<br />
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.<br />
<br />
Lois: I am not a crazy broad!<br />
Peter: Oh, no, no, Lois, he didn't mean you're crazy like Elizabeth Taylor. He meant you're crazy, like that glue. You stick to things, y'know, like an adhesive. That's all he meant.<br />
<br />
Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.<br />
(Lois and Peter stare in silence)<br />
Meg: I'm alergic to peanuts.<br />
(Peter and Lois keep staring)<br />
Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)<br />
Peter: Who was that guy?<br />
<br />
Man: Wow, Lois Griffin, Hey, I love your act! Nice melons.<br />
Peter: Now listen pal!<br />
Lois: Peter, I'm holding mellons.<br />
Peter: Oh<br />
Man: And her hooters aint bad either.<br />
Peter: Now hold on a second.<br />
Lois: Peter! I'm holding hooters!<br />
Peter: Oh, sorry.<br />
Man: No problem .<br />
(pause)<br />
Man: Your wife's hot.<br />
Peter: Alright that's it!<br />
<br />
Peter: Wow, that Lois is some kinda woman.<br />
Quagmire: Yeah, just thinkin' about her makes my testicles wanna drop. Ooh, speak of the devil. Ooh, make the devils.<br />
<br />
Peter: Look at this, Lois, see right here [points in book], I was voted most likely to succeed!<br />
Lois: Peter, that's not you. That's not even a yearbook, it's a People magazine.<br />
Peter: Oh, I wondered why they had the wrong picture and name.<br />
<br />
Lois: You're drunk again.<br />
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.<br />
<br />
Peter: I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.<br />
<br />
Peter: That was then and this is now. And this is a chair. And that's a lamp. And you have boobies. And I'm gonna find that trophy.<br />
<br />
Meg: I like him, he remembers my name!<br />
<br />
Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.<br />
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?<br />
Peter: Oh yeah.<br />
<br />
Peter: Lois, When I'm through with them, our kids will be so smart, they'll be able to program their own VCRs without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself.<br />
<br />
Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!<br />
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.<br />
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.<br />
<br />
Lois: Peter, did you paste a new picture of yourself on our wedding picture?<br />
Peter: Yeah I think it looks better.<br />
Lois: You pasted it over me.<br />
Peter: Yeah I think it looks better.<br />
<br />
Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.<br />
<br />
Dennis Miller: I don't wanna go on a RANT here but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antetum. I mean when a neo-conservative defenstrates it's like Raskalnakov filibuster dioxymonohydrostinate.<br />
Peter: What the hell does RANT mean?<br />
<br />
Genie: I am here to grant you three wishes.<br />
Lois: Peter, three wishes. Oh this is so exciting.<br />
Meg: I want a new hat.<br />
Chris: I want a new hat.<br />
Stewie: I want them to have new hats!<br />
<br />
[Chris jumps on Peter's lap]<br />
Chris: Dad, the scouts are no fun. I just want to draw. Oh, and...<br />
[kisses Peter]<br />
Peter: Son, I am going to stand up, walk out of this room, and we are never to speak of this again.<br />
<br />
Head Scout: You've got three days to earn a badge.<br />
Peter: Three days! That's tomorrow! We gotta get going.<br />
<br />
Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.<br />
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!<br />
<br />
Peter: Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly?<br />
<br />
Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.<br />
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.<br />
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.<br />
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.<br />
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.<br />
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.<br />
<br />
Eliza: Ew, your breath smells like kitty litter.<br />
Stewie: I was curious!<br />
<br />
Lois: Peter, why would they make you presidesnt?<br />
Peter: Maybe it's because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second - RARF!<br />
Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.<br />
<br />
Brian: Oh my god. They ate Tricia Takanawa.<br />
Peter: Why? They're just gonna get hungry again in an hour.<br />
<br />
Stewie: Easy! Massage the scalp. You're washing a baby's hair, not scrubbing vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.<br />
<br />
Chris: I don't think I like feet as much as you do.<br />
Quagmire: Everybody likes feet.<br />
<br />
Peter: Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first.<br />
<br />
Lois: Come on Stewie, you know you can't leave the table until you finish your vegetables.<br />
Stewie: Well, then I shall sit here until one of us expires, and you've got a good forty years on me, woman.<br />
Lois: Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane ...<br />
Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers.<br />
<br />
Lois: Brian, you're home early. What happened with your date?<br />
Brian: The same thing that always happens, she was an idiot.<br />
<br />
Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle.<br />
Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!<br />
Brian: What the hell are you talking about?<br />
<br />
Quagmire: Oh, Lois, I'd do everything to you.<br />
Lois: What?<br />
Quagmire: I'd do anything for you.<br />
<br />
Peter: I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal.<br />
<br />
Quagmire: Hello?<br />
UPS Woman: Package for Mr. G. Quagmire.<br />
Quagmire: OK, hold on a sceond. [Shuts door, takes pants off, and opens door again]<br />
Quagmire: I've got a package for you too... [Showing penis] Alright!<br />
<br />
Peter: No bird frenches my wife and gets away with it.<br />
<br />
Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ...<br />
Bellboy(spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.<br />
Brian: Oh, oh you speak english<br />
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.<br />
Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?<br />
Bellboy(spanish): Que?<br />
<br />
Security Guard: Alright son, we're gonna need those two hams back.<br />
Chris: Huh? I don't have any hams.<br />
Guard: Lift up your shirt, son.<br />
Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult!<br />
Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty? You're just a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.<br />
Chris: Thanks.<br />
<br />
Cleveland Jr: Honey comb big, yeah yeah yeah. It's not small, no no no.<br />
<br />
Peter (to Meg): Remember that pony you wanted when you were 6? Well I've been waitin for a time like this.<br />
(opens closet door and a skeleton of a pony is there)<br />
Peter: Oh, oh god, that's right ponies, ponies like food.<br />
<br />
Peter: Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it.<br />
<br />
Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle i find, i shall KILL you.<br />
<br />
Lois: A woman is not an object.<br />
Peter: Your mother is right, son. Listen to what it says.<br />
Lois: Peter!<br />
<br />
Mayor West: MY GOD! Someones stealing my water!<br />
Meg: But it just went down the drain.<br />
Mayor West: The hit when you least expect it.<br />
(Waters plant)<br />
Mayor West: SHOW YOURSELVES COWARDS! I've spent $1000 dollars of the tax payers money trying to find these thieves and I'll spend $1000000 if thats what it takes!<br />
Meg: You know, I think I have my story.<br />
Mayor West: NO! WAIT! You can't print that! Thank god shes just a figment of my imagination.<br />
<br />
Glen Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?<br />
Meg Griffin: No.<br />
Glen Quagmire: Just checkin'.<br />
<br />
Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. (laughter)<br />
Stewie: Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!<br />
<br />
Cleveland: Here's to Joe, who helped little Paul get a new liver and, barring a massive infection, a new lease on life.<br />
<br />
Peter: There's gotta be an explanation for all this.<br />
Brian: You want an explanation? God is pissed!<br />
<br />
Cleveland: Public urination is just wrong. Except during the Million Man March when protestors burned down our porta-potties and I used my stream of justice to put out the hate.<br />
<br />
Peter: Gays don't vommit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France.<br />
<br />
Chris: When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles my brain. Hah hah hah ... ow. Oh, now I don't know math.<br />
<br />
Peter: I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in.<br />
<br />
Brian: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.<br />
Peter: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.<br />
<br />
I.R.S. Representative:Well sir, I'm afraid that your not qualified for a tax refund.<br />
Peter:AAAHHHHH... ohh sorry, i still haven't gotten over the loss of party of five.<br />
I.R.S.: Well as I was saying you are not getting a tax refund.<br />
Peter:AAAHHHHHH... oh Party of Five. What were you saying?<br />
IRS: You're not intitled for a tax refund.<br />
Peter: AAHHHHH!<br />
IRS: Was that for Party of Five again?<br />
Peter: No, that was for my tax refund! What the hell is Party of Five!?<br />
<br />
Quagmire: So, you ladies ever been penetrated?<br />
<br />
Peter: [writing letter] Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog.<br />
<br />
Peter: I told Lois I wouldn't drink<br />
Quagmire: Don't feel so bad Peter<br />
Peter: Hey, I never thought of it that way.<br />
<br />
Lois: Peter you have to go to work.<br />
Peter: That's nothing a phone call can't fix.<br />
Peter: [Dialing phone] Hello Mr. Weed? I can't come to work today. My family was in a terrible plane crash and I'm a vegetable. See you tomorow.<br />
<br />
Stewie: I'd love to stay and chat but, you're a total bitch. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-24663034833417318322014-07-23T18:53:00.001-07:002014-07-23T18:53:21.593-07:00Cute And Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Cute And Funny Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
In some instances, I don't care what people think. In other instances, I do - especially because of the stereotype. People take a look at me and say, 'She's cute. She's blond. She's an actress. She's a bimbo.' You know? So I take great pains to show I'm intelligent, to show I'm not a twinkie.<br />It's not like I cleaned up with girls. I always looked young and I was very small; I hated being 'cute<br />I like pieces that are cool and simple. I try to wear really cute things, but they just don't suit me at all.<br />As an actor, I felt I couldn't compete. I wasn't as cute as the leading man; I wasn't as brilliant as Robin William<br />My first on-screen kiss was lame: Nickelodeon. But my first real-life kiss was super cute and nice, but still very awkward. It was with this hot skateboarder with dreadlocks. He was my little Rasta man.<br />I connected very much with all the work of Joan Crawford because she started as a flapper. She used to dance and sing and she was very cute. She had something that was so different from what she is at the end of her life and she started in the silent movies and then went into the talkies.<br />Even my parents are so cute, and they deal with every movie of mine excellently. They check with me ever so casually by asking 'Now how much of nudity are we going to see in this one?'<br />I couldn't sing to save myself. Greg went to John after the audition and said, 'She's cute, but she can't sing very well' and he said, 'I know. We'll teach her. I just want her on the sho<br />I have a girl crush on Rachel Bilson. She's so cute, I just want to put her in my pocket. I love her style, and I'm fascinated by everything she wears, and I think she's a really sweet and kind person. She's cute. I like her.<br />I was the runt of my class. So I got away with the whole 'Oh, he's so cute' thing. I was in upper division math courses, so I would have junior and senior girls in my class, and they'd just sit We had this scene where I'm supposed to be bending over to get something. I thought it was kind of cute<br />I had people in 'Entertainment Weekly' talking about how they wanted to throttle me because they thought I was too disgustingly cute, as if that were my fault, you know, as if that was my fault, not the fault of directors and producers and such.<br />Well I am from Annapolis Maryland. I went to High school in Baltimore, but I grew up in Annapolis. It was a cute town. We lived on a waterfront community. It was good, even though I do not have voice for Russian music; I cannot be cute little peasant like in operas of Glinka or Rimsky-Korsakov. I am now never in Russia; I am Austrian citizen. But definitely I am Latin!<br />I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild Governor Scott Walker didn't know who he was messing with when he picked a fight with the hard-working union folks of Wisconsin. He must have forgotten that Wisconsin is the Badger State. And badgers are scrappy little creatures. We may look cute, warm and fuzzy, but we have a fighting spirit.<br />There is a giant gulf between doing something and doing nothing. And someone who makes a lolcat and uploads it - even if only to crack their friends up - has already crossed that chasm to doing something. That's the sea change, and you can see it even with the cute cats.<br />I wasn't going to get such a nice car - I was going to get a cute little hybrid or something, keep the trees happy - but then my grandfather died, and it was all: retail therapy!<br />I think it is important for girls to see movies where it is not all just about 'the boy' or it's simply being about 'the relationship' or 'Am I pretty enough?' or 'Am I cute enough?'.<br />Monique Coleman<br />My mom thought I might be good for voiceover. She thought I had a cute voice, so maybe I could do a cartoon or something. And while we were looking into that, we also thought I should get into theater acting, so I tried it and the first audition I went on, I booked it. And it kind of just snowballed from there.<br /> Could I see myself with a British boyfriend? Absolutely. The way they wear their pants is so cute. Guys don't do it in America. Their style is cute. I just feel like Brits are honest - period. And that's what I like.<br />Kelly Rowland<br /> <br />America, Honest, Style<br />I have smelled some very famous and undoubtedly sexy boys. And sometimes, as cute as they are, I'd rather have them as a friend - just because of the way they smell!<br />Rachel Nichols<br /> <br />Famous, Rather, Friend<br />I'm a feminist. The women in my books in recent years have been powerful characters and I love to see a woman with a cute bottom walking past.<br />Wilbur Smith<br /> <br />Love, Women, Woman<br />Right now, I don't have the same urges as other women when they see a baby. When I see children, I see responsibilities, which I don't think I'm quite ready for. I feel the same about puppies. They're cute for a second, but there's a lot of responsibility involved.<br />Gabrielle Union<br /> <br />Women, Children, Quite<br />Don't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing you think is cute 'cause you made it, just forget it.<br />Amy Sedaris<br /> <br />Good, Forget, Anybody<br />If my client calls me and says, 'I'm going to a friend's premiere,' I'll say, 'Come over and let's do something cute.' And I won't bill them for that.<br />Rachel Zoe<br /> <br />Friend, Says, Bill<br />I don't know, Y'know, I always wanted to be one of those cheerleader girls and I never was that, and I was never sort of cute and perky, and I always thought it was fun to be cute and perky, and those, I don't know what those girls are doing now.<br />Katey Sagal<br /> <br />Fun, Girl, Sort<br />I try not to be but I'm super-neurotic about diet. I'm neurotic about trying not to be neurotic! I'm like every other girl. I have to try really hard my whole life to try to be fit. And I'm super-vain. And I want to wear cute clothes.<br />Gwen Stefani<br /> <br />Life, Diet, Girl<br />Davy Jones was the grooviest of the Monkees, which makes him one of the grooviest pop stars who ever existed. He was the best dancer in the Monkees, the Cute One, the one with the coy English accent, the bowl-cut boy-child who shook those cherry-red maracas and always got the girl. He was also the guy who stole David Bowie's original name.<br />Rob Sheffield<br /> <br />Best, Girl, Makes<br />Americans like the British kind of quirkiness and the strange accent. They find it kind of cute or something, with a certain charm.<br />Nick Park<br /> <br />Strange, Certain, British<br />I love shorts in the colder climates, because you can wear them with chunky sweaters and jackets. It's cute and funky.<br />Rachel Bilson<br /> <br />Love, Wear, Funky<br />My thing about going to the gym is that I leave my bracelets on, and I put on my makeup the way I would do it in real life, and I wear cute clothes, because if I don't feel good when I leave the house, then I'm not motivated to do it. I need to like how I look while I'm doing it.<br />Taylor Momsen<br /> <br />Life, Good, While<br />We were signed to a label that wanted us to remain little girls who appealed to other little girls, who were cute and non-threateni<br /><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-37423984269361618842014-07-23T18:35:00.002-07:002014-07-23T18:35:33.471-07:00Funny Family Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Family Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
Cheap Cheerful Small Family Run About Taxed Tested No Timewasters<br />
I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?<br />
Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie – not perfect but who’s complaining?<br />
Family is a blessing. – Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.Marcelina Hardy<br />
<br />
I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich.Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford<br />
<br />
If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable – each segment distinct.Letty Cottin Pogrebin<br />
<br />
One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.Jonathan Safran Foer<br />
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The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.Nancy Mitford<br />
In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.Anna Quidlen<br />
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.Evan Esar<br />
Families, can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em ..Tate Hallaway<br />
Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.Unknown<br />
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Car Window Tinting, We'll Beat All Quotes Today!!!!!!<br />
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Family Caravan - Blackpool<br />
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Recovery And Transport.....most Vehicles Catered For...contact For Quote<br />
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About sell my phone...<br />
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Funny Black Male Cat Free For A Good Home! Castrated&chip<br />
Posted on July 24, 2014 Hi, very cute, beutiful and very FUNNY, young (about 1 year) male cat free to good home! He is very playful and sweet at the same time. He is litter t... (read more)<br />
Rubbish & Waste Clearance.cheap.low Rates.free Quotes & Friendly Advice Covers:::all London<br />
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Two Rabbits (female And Male) About 6 Months Old<br />
Posted on July 24, 2014 I am selling a couple of rabbits. They are approximately 6 months old. I would like that somebody will buy them both as their grown up and getting ver... (read more) <br />
I would prefer to have no money but to have a nice family and good friends around.Li Na<br />
Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!Albert Einstei<br />
The family is a haven in a heartless world.Christopher Lasch<br />
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.Ellen de Generes<br />
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.Rodney Dangerfield<br />
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.Burton Hilli<br />
Family is just accident…. They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.Marsha Norman<br />
I believe the world is one big family, and we need to help each other.Jet L<br />
From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.Jarod Kintz<br />
Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.George Bernard Shaw<br />
There’s nothing I value more than the closeness of friends and family, a smile as I pass someone on the street.Willie Stargell<br />
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.Bertrand Russell<br />
I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.Ugo Betti<br />
Family makes you who you are and aren’t.Marcelina Hardy<br />
The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing.Uknown<br />
Family knows your flaws but loves you anyway.Marcelina Hardy<br />
Govern a family as you would cook a small fish – very gently.Chinese Proverb<br />
God created the family to provide the maximum love and support and morality and example that one can imagine.Jerry Falwell<br />
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.<br />
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap....He was in the electric chair.<br />
- Rodney Dangerfield<br />
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.<br />
- Bob Hope<br />
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To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. (The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895)<br />
- Oscar Wilde<br />
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One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.<br />
- Euripides<br />
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The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to.<br />
- Dodie Smith<br />
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I am an only child. I have one sister.<br />
- Woody Allen<br />
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.<br />
- Jeff Foxworthy<br />
<br />
Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.<br />
- Douglas Adams<br />
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.<br />
- Victor Borge<br />
The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.<br />
- Thomas Jefferson<br />
Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.<br />
- Charles Dickens<br />
Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.<br />
- Bernard Shaw<br />
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.<br />
- Bernard Shaw<br />
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.<br />
- Leo Tolstoy<br />
<br />
The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.<br />
- Shakespeare<br />
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.<br />
- Theodore Hesburgh<br />
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close- knit family in another city.<br />
- George Burns<br />
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.<br />
- Leo Tolstoy<br />
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:<br />
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.<br />
- Jane Howard<br />
I never forget my wife’s birthday. It’s usually the day after she reminds me about it.<br />
- Anonymous<br />
The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.<br />
- George Santayana<br />
In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.<br />
- Alex Haley<br />
In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family’s story embodies its hope and despair.<br />
- Auguste Napier<br />
Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.<br />
- Elizabeth II<br />
Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.<br />
- Francis Bacon<br />
<br />
It is easier for a father to have children than The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.<br />
- Thomas Jefferson<br />
Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.<br />
- Charles Dickens<br />
Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.<br />
- Bernard Shaw<br />
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.<br />
- Bernard Shaw<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-68961092750733471682014-07-23T18:16:00.000-07:002014-07-23T18:16:27.802-07:00Funny Break Up Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Break Up Quotes </h2>
<br />
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
ots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You're aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just can't be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn't be.”<br />
― C. JoyBell C.You’re like the Bermuda triangle, each time I try to get over you, I still end up crashing into you.<br />
Sometimes you have to accept the truth and stop wasting time on the wrong people.<br />
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or make you happy.<br />
Do yourself a favor and don’t stay updated with those who you realized weren’t good for you. You don’t need to know how they’re doing.<br />
Sorry, but I don’t need any part-time people in my life. You’re either with me or you’re not. You can’t just come and go as you please.<br />
I didn’t stop loving my ex, I just stop believing that we were meant to be. Submitted by: dhey 22 7 The memory of you is like a cobweb that lingers in my mind and stings through my organ of fire. Submitted by: Amorsola Tanan Barangan 22 7 I will forget you as a nightmare that cripples my mind<br />
Sometimes breaking up is just another way to say, “Open your eyes and use your mind”. Submitted by: anabhu 93 40 Being friends with your ex shows you two are mature enough to get over the fact that you weren’t meant to be together. 77 21 You have given me so much pain emotionally and physically. Maybe it’s time for me to move on and forget you. For you really don’t deserve me. Submitted by: thesa santos 65 20 I miss every minute then I remember all the pain and heartaches every second and swear not to go back again. Goodbye. Submitted by: Teresa Mulati 60 13 Why is it that you wanted me to be yours so badly, then walked away without looking back and have never remembered me since? Submitted by: julia 114 35 I miss you, more than ever! I don’t know why when you’re the one who broke my heart! Submitted by: Trinitey 45 8 Obsession is feeling fearful that you may be losing him; detachment is knowing that he may be losing you; and apathy is the past tense of both.<br />
There's a really unique relationship between a single parent and their child. Marriages so easily break up. There's kind of this temporary deal about marriages. That's one of the things that makes it stressful, and that's something that's nonexistent in a parent-child relationship.<br />
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.<br />
I did not break up the Beatles. You can't have it both ways. If you're going to blame me for breaking the Beatles up, you should be thankful that I made them into myth rather than a crumbling group.<br />
Groups break up because they never got across what they wanted to do personally, and they have creative differences, and egos start to clash.<br />
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.<br />
Steve Martin<br />
<br />
Woman, Another, She<br />
The objectification of females is not a good thing! Not every rapper does this, but when the lyrics focus solely on the strip club, 'poppin' bottles' and how many girls they can 'tap,' it distorts what kids are learning. I think if there was more of a female presence in hip hop we could break up the monotony. It's all about balance.<br />
Queen Latifah<br />
<br />
Good, Learning, Girl<br />
Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.<br />
Matt LeBlanc<br />
<br />
Her, Stop, Break<br />
The male is always the pawn in a romantic comedy. Come together, break up, go chase her, get her, roll credits. That's what happens in all of them.<br />
Matthew McConaughey<br />
<br />
Romantic, Together, Her<br />
We must break up the eurozone. We must set those Mediterranean countries free.<br />
Nigel Farage<br />
<br />
Free, Break, Countries<br />
When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It's like death.<br />
Dennis Quaid<br />
<br />
Death, Whole, Break<br />
Urban America has been redlined. Government has not offered tax incentives for investment, as it has in a dozen foreign markets. Banks have redlined it. Industries have moved out, they've redlined it. Clearly, to break up the redlining process, there must be incentives to green-line with hedges against risk.<br />
Jesse Jackson<br />
<br />
Government, America, Against<br />
A band is a good way to break up a friendship.<br />
Julian Casablancas<br />
<br />
Friendship, Good, Break<br />
Break-ups are hard for anybody, but it's particularly tough when it's being documented and you see the person's picture everywhere. Most people don't have that added problem when they break up with someone.<br />
Winona Ryder<br />
<br />
Problem, Tough, Anybody<br />
I've had friends whose boyfriends I meet, then they break up and I end up staying buddies with the boyfriend. In this day and age with social media and Facebook, Twitter, it's really impossible to escape people that you've been involved with. In a weird way, it makes it easier for everyone to stay friends because you're just sort of stuck there.<br />
Zachary Knighton<br />
<br />
Age, End, Friends<br />
Americans, who make more of marrying for love than any other people, also break up more of their marriages, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it.<br />
Morton Hunt<br />
<br />
Love, Failure, Break<br />
Why not provoke some thought and get people talking about things? I like characters that are flawed because we all are. When people break up in a script, you think, Oh, right, there must be tears shed here. But maybe the fact of the matter is that they're both laughing.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-15672609615514611552014-07-23T18:01:00.002-07:002014-07-23T18:01:27.505-07:00Kevin Hart Seriously Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Kevin Hart Seriously Funny Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!'<br />TheRealTactics<br />The day Rick Ross dives into the crowd, is the day we find out who his true fans are.<br />I think if you get kicked in the face you deserved it because that means that you watched the foot come to your face.<br />eah! Real niggas. ALL day! Just me. By myself. On the block. Holdin it down. Gun in my waist. Straight face. All day. Not a game. In jail. By myself. 1 bed. No pillow case. 1 pillow. Didnt nobody write me. It was early. Woke up. Went back to sleep. Took a nap. You ever go night night nigga?<br />Its about to go down.. My mom told me to tell you! To mind your damn motherfucking business bitch, you lil' stupid bitch , dumb teacher bitch, 2+2 not knowin' what the fuck it is bich, cross eyed cryin' down your back fat foot ass bitch, long titty no nipple havin' ass bich! An the crazy shit its my friends in the background OHHHH OHHHH HE SAID SHE AINT ' HAVE NO NIPPLES! Igot suspended an an asswhoopin' when I got home my mom said I told you to say 2 cuss words your said... 76 of em.<br />You see my eyes huh? Roll em!You like cheese without the corners, in other words you'll never be a slice bitch!<br /> Gravity By Walking On Water defines dreams, desires and personal goals as indicators for ones "reason for living" and/or "purpose in life". The author attempts to challenge her readers to transform dreams, desires and personal goals (purpose) into reality. The book examines the well-known story of Jesus Christ walking on water as it relates purpose. Walking on water is impossible. When Jesus walked on water he defied gravity. He accomplished this feat by "resisting the gravitation pull to sink or drown" in surrounding waters. The writing focuses on "resisting the gravitation pull" of abandoning purpose. It methodically dispels fear, doubt, unbelief and circumstances used as excuses to sabotage purpose. The author is convinced that fulfillment of purpose (or walking on water) is a responsibility that must be undertaken in order to potentially improve our civilization and/or set standards for the next generation to follow and surpass.<br />Ever argue with a female and, in the middle of the argument, you no longer feel safe because of her actions? She may start pacing back and forth real fast, breathing out her nose. You know what my girl do? When she get mad, she start talking in the third person. That's scary as hell because that's her way of telling me that from this point on, she is not responsible for none of her actions.<br />One time, she got me so mad, we got into a fist fight. You know how you know when you lost a fight to your woman? When the cops come to your house and ask you do you want to press charges. That's how you know it didn't go as you planned.<br />How do people shit on themselves when they are sleeping? That's some nasty shit....like what kinda sick dream were you having that caused that.<br />Who ever invented ALCOHOL should be shot immediately, Hang overs r the worst...I swear it feels like a fat baby is kicking me in the head.<br />You know how you know you have lost a fight with your woman? When the cops come in and say, sir do you wanna press charges?<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-43651915428771888302014-07-23T17:46:00.000-07:002014-07-24T10:51:10.994-07:00Funny Quotes About Life In General Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Quotes About Life In General </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
<br />
"A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears." (Michel de Montaigne)<br />
<br />
“Find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it.” (Daniel Dennett) <br />
Robert Palmer - Every Kind Of People (youtube)<br />
<br />
The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n (John Milton)<br />
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"My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened." (Michel de Montaigne)<br />
<br />
Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. (Tao Te Ching)<br />
<br />
"We should give meaning to life, not wait for life to give us meaning " "Seize the Day"<br />
<br />
If you want a better world you have to create one, because if you just sit around waiting for a better world, it will never come. "Be the Change you wish to see in the world" (Mahatma Gandhi)<br />
<br />
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” (Buckminster Fuller) <br />
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Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. (Carl Jung)<br />
<br />
readingbook<br />
<br />
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. - (Cherokee)<br />
<br />
"There never seems to be enough time in reality" Pass the Baton<br />
<br />
Whatever it is you're going through, someone has been there before. There is immense value in listening to those who have suffered and learned from their experiences. "it's not so much where you start, but more importantly, it's how you finish."<br />
<br />
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” (Laozi)<br />
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Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. (Marie Curie)<br />
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"Life is more about the gift, not the package it comes in " (Dennis P. Costea, Jr.) Body Image<br />
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"Life is a story that unfolds between a beginning we can no longer remember and an end we know nothing about."<br />
<br />
I was brought up to believe that how I saw myself was more important than how others saw me. (Anwar Sadat)<br />
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The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame. (Rod Steiger)<br />
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The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning to work on becoming yourself.<br />
(Anna Quindlen)<br />
The 7 Wonders of the World<br />
<br />
The body is a sacred garment. (Martha Graham)<br />
<br />
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. (Eleanor Roosevelt)<br />
No one can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys.<br />
Don't let people Rent Space in your Head.<br />
<br />
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.<br />
<br />
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.<br />
It's the life in your years " (Abraham Lincoln)<br />
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,<br />
but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr) <br />
<br />
Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical<br />
violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only<br />
refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.<br />
(Martin Luther King, Jr.)<br />
<br />
If I am the sum of all parts, don't the parts deserve a sum? (Howard Polley) Reductionism (wiki)<br />
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Everyone can look strange to anyone, but behind all that strangeness there is still a human.<br />
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It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. (Lucille Ball) <br />
<br />
People are not weird, what’s weird is what happens to people. Peculiar<br />
<br />
Signs of Emotional Security<br />
Ability to deal constructively with reality.<br />
Capacity to adapt to change.<br />
Few symptoms of tension and anxiety.<br />
Ability to find more satisfaction in giving than receiving.<br />
Capacity to consistently relate to others with mutual<br />
satisfaction and helpfulness.<br />
Ability to direct hostile energy into constructive outlets.<br />
Capacity to love.<br />
<br />
Take time to Laugh. It is the Music of the soul.<br />
Take time to Think. It is the source of power.<br />
Take time to Play. It is the source of perpetual youth.<br />
Take time to Read. It is the fountain of wisdom.<br />
Take time to Pray. It is the greatest power on Earth.<br />
Take time to Love and be loved. It is a God-given privilege.<br />
Take time to be Friendly. It is the road to happiness.<br />
Take time to Give. It is too short a day to be selfish.<br />
Take time to Work. It is the price of success.<br />
<br />
Zen Habits<br />
<br />
Dance like there's nobody watching, Video<br />
Love like you'll never be hurt,<br />
Sing like there's nobody listening,<br />
And Live like it's heaven on earth.<br />
<br />
You are what you Eat?<br />
You are what you Know?<br />
You are what you Do?<br />
You Are?<br />
<br />
"Life is Not a Test, for if it were it certainly wouldn't be fair test. So don't worry about the mishaps and the missteps. Just learn as much as you can. Because the more you learn about yourself and the world around you, the better life gets. So if you keep learning, especially things that are important, things will just keep getting better and better.<br />
Keep Learning My Friends" (another quote from The Worlds Most Educated Man)<br />
<br />
"Lay each brick reverently. Lay a purposeful brick, but be in the moment of laying that brick. The house will form.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-58599714424818666692014-07-23T17:30:00.002-07:002014-07-23T17:30:45.338-07:00Funny Quotes For The Day Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Quotes For The Day </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
If you feel like doing some work, sit down and wait…<br />
The feeling does go away.” <br />
<br />
“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?"<br />
~Scott Adams <br />
<br />
“There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.”<br />
~Cyrill Connolly<br />
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“Don’t ever wrestle with a pig.<br />
You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.”<br />
~Cole Yarborough<br />
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“If you drop a white glove into the mud, the glove will get muddy. But the mud will never get glovey.” <br />
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“If you need a helping hand, there is one at the end of your arm.”~Audrey Hepburn<br />
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“If you live to be a hundred. I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”<br />
~Winnie the Pooh<br />
Fireflies! They wander into your life unexpectedly and make it a little bit brighter.<br />
<br />
2. When an animal is tame enough to eat food right out of your hand.<br />
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3. Picking and eating fresh fruits right off the tree.<br />
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4. Watching a baby smile.<br />
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5. The bittersweet emotions that rush through your body on the very last day of high school.<br />
<br />
6. Kissing in the rain.<br />
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7. The feeling of cool morning grass under your bare feet when you walk out to get the newspaper at sunrise.<br />
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8. The sound and sight of ocean waves.<br />
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9. The feeling you get inside when you go out of your way to make someone's day a little brighter.<br />
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10. A good photograph of a special moment.<br />
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11. A rainbow breaking through the storm clouds on a calm, rainy summer afternoon.<br />
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12. The exhilarating rush of adolescent love.<br />
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13. Sharing a good laugh with friends and family.<br />
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14. The awesomeness of skipping rocks across water.<br />
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15. The soothing comfort of an old familiar smell.<br />
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16. A first kiss. The sweet rush of butterflies in your tummy when you kiss someone special for the very first time.<br />
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17. The surreal beauty of watching lightning strikes in the distance.<br />
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18. An unexpected compliment.<br />
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19. The joy of telling an interesting true story.<br />
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20. When the song on the radio ends right as you pull into the driveway.<br />
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21. Laying in bed wrapped up all warm while it's cold, raining and windy outside.<br />
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22. The feeling you get when you uncover schoolwork from elementary school while cleaning out your closet.<br />
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23. Watching the sunrise on a quiet Sunday morning while the rest of the neighborhood is still sleeping.<br />
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24. Being told "I love you" for the first time.<br />
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25. Meeting someone you just can't get out of your mind.<br />
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26. The excitement of making a wish at 11:11.<br />
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27. Long, crazy college road trips with your friends and the memories they create.<br />
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28. The eerie silence between the flash of lightning and the crack of thunder.<br />
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29. Taking a running start and then sliding across a tile floor in your socks.<br />
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30. Having the place to yourself and singing aloud at the top of your lungs.<br />
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31. Waking up to find your cat asleep on your stomach, purring loudly.<br />
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32. The excitement of traveling outside of your country for the very first time.<br />
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33. When a popular song on the radio actually has meaningful lyrics that you can totally relate to.<br />
<br />
34. Amazing talents you are born with. Like the mind of a genius or the voice of an angel.<br />
<br />
35. Making momentary eye contact with a cute stranger.<br />
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36. The feeling you get when you're at the top of the roller coaster and know you're about to plummet.<br />
“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.”~Earl Wilson<br />
<br />
“What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?”<br />
~Berlott Brecht<br />
<br />
“The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”<br />
~David Richerby<br />
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“In God we trust. All others bring data.”<br />
~Dr. Edwards Deming<br />
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“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life. Unless I buy something.”<br />
~Jackie Mason<br />
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“I like work; it fascinates me, I can sit back and look at it for hours.”<br />
~Jerome K. Jerome<br />
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“If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.”<br />
~Joe Martin <br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
“In mathematics, you don’t understand things, you just get used to them.”<br />
~Johann Von Neumann <br />
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“A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”<br />
~Joseph Stalin <br />
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“After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say: ‘I want to see the manager’.”<br />
~William S. Burroughts <br />
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“A conclusion is the place where you get tired thinking.”<br />
~Martin H. Fischer <br />
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“I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that’s just the way I am.”<br />
~Homer Simpson <br />
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“Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately, it doesn’t seem to be working.” <br />
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“Why does the air force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?”<br />
~George Wallace <br />
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“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”<br />
~Marie Von <br />
<br />
“This sentence contradicts itself…<br />
No actually it doesn’t.”<br />
~Douglas Hofstadter <br />
<br />
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”<br />
~Albert Einstein <br />
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“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”<br />
~Albert Einstein<br />
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“War isn't about dying for your country. It’s about making the other bastard die for his.” <br />
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“By the time you figure out all of life’s answers, they’ll change the questions.” <br />
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“It’s a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a stray, worm-riddled dog, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a kid with bronchitis and pick his nose and eat it on a regular basis, yet won't sit next to his sister because of ‘Girl Germs’.”<br />
~Kathy Lette<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-12085314481596399452014-07-23T16:56:00.001-07:002014-07-24T10:55:16.664-07:00Funny Quotes About Change Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Quotes About Change </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
Changing is what people do when they have no options left. ~ Holly Black<br />
~ If you want to make enemies, try to change something. ~ Woodrow Wilson<br />
~ It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. ~ W. Edwards Deming<br />
~ The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions. ~ Ellen Glasgow<br />
~ Our ability to adapt is amazing. Our ability to change isn't quite as spectacular. ~ Lisa Lutz<br />
~ Life moves very fast. It rushes from Heaven to Hell in a matter of seconds. ~ Paulo Coelho<br />
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.<br />
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.<br />
~ Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. ~ John Kenneth Galbraith<br />
~ After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over. <br />
<br />
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.<br />
John F. Kennedy<br />
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.<br />
John F. Kennedy<br />
<br />
Life, Future, Past<br />
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.<br />
Maya Angelou<br />
<br />
Attitude<br />
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.<br />
Steve Jobs<br />
<br />
Life, Morning, Today<br />
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.<br />
Barack Obama<br />
<br />
Time, Waiting, Wait<br />
When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves. - Viktor E. Frankl<br />
When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.<br />
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.<br />
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.<br />
be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be<br />
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.<br />
I hope everyone that is reading this is having a really good day. And if you are not, just know that in every new minute that passes you have an opportunity to change that.<br />
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.<br />
If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.<br />
I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.<br />
Stephen Ha<br />
Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.<br />
<br />
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<br />
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." - Lao Tzu<br />
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou<br />
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person<br />
"Change before you have to." Jack Welch<br />
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee<br />
"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." - Margaret Mead<br />
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me<br />
"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." - C. S. Lewis<br />
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy<br />
"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." Charles Darwin<br />
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Anatole France<br />
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - St. Francis of Assisi<br />
"Be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi<br />
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." -- Goethe<br />
"Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." -- Helen Keller<br />
"I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -- Pablo Picasso<br />
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin<br />
I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. Imelda Marco<br />
<br />
Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving and progressing. – Mandy Hale<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-25530769601536308792014-07-23T16:37:00.002-07:002014-07-24T10:57:14.900-07:00New Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About New Funny Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
“There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.”<br />
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”<br />
I love walking in the rain because no one can see me crying.closequote<br />
- Rowan Atkinson<br />
These words are like knives and often leave scarsclosequote<br />
- Panic! At The Disco, This Is<br />
openquote All human born intilligently and they are still intilligent but according to their lifestyle, idea favour them<br />
f a person finds the negative people in his network, then he needs to mind or mend his own nature than others for his basic grounding decides only the level of acidic or toxic surrounding<br />
Overwhelmed I say goodbye.<br />
As the pages turn I say goodbye. closequote<br />
- Disciple, The Ballad Of St<br />
When you think and feel you have hit rock bottom of your pathetic life , the only way to truly know is dive head first into the blackness and pray you snap your neck on the bottom<br />
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.<br />
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.<br />
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.<br />
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim<br />
FORGIVING is FOR GIVING to others and if it is meant FOR GETTING to ourselves then should it not be termed as FORGETTING ourselve<br />
hey say It's not over till the fat lady sings," Krillin.<br />
"I think she just hummed a few notes," Vegeta.closequote<br />
- Vegeta And Krillin-dbz<br />
If a person’s life objective has been endorsed by his inner call, then he is bound to repeatedly fail and fall for he is scaling up the wall which is very tall and that’s not an easy job for anyone at all.closequote<br />
- Anuj Somany<br />
TRUST YOURSELF THAT YOU'LL LIVE.. THEN YOU'LL GONNA DIE.<br />
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.<br />
"You support gay rights so u must be gay"Kindly enjoy cool funny sayings and quotes ..<br />
<br />
Hope is a good thing - maybe the best thing, and no good thing ever dies<br />
<br />
You can't deny laughter, when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. -Stephen King<br />
<br />
Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman - Anonymous<br />
<br />
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know i am hilarious. - Anonymous<br />
<br />
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.<br />
<br />
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.<br />
<br />
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.<br />
<br />
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.<br />
<br />
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Its just that yours is stupid.<br />
<br />
When i am reading book and someone asks what i am reading, i never answer them. I just hold up the cover for them. - Anonymous<br />
<br />
I would retaliate against your snotty remarks, but since you resemble a garden gnome, i would say the joke is on you.<br />
<br />
If you're not good santa doesn't bring you many presents. Like, if you kill someone - that's pretty bad. Then you only get a yayo.<br />
<br />
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, Man, that was fun.<br />
<br />
A guy make s a woman come, it is a talent.. A woman makes a guy come, its a - See more at: I support animal rights, do I look like an alpaca to you?<br />
If I had a dollar for every time someone spelled my name wrong, I could pay for college, semester abroad, a new car, and a mansion in cash.<br />
You actually need to value someone's opinion to really care about it and<br />
What if Netflix doubled as a dating service like "here are 7 other singles that watched Supernatural for 8 hours straight"When you go to the fridge after a day at school-<br />
I don't care<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-32091430903481468412014-07-23T16:16:00.000-07:002014-07-23T16:16:02.451-07:00Friendship Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Friendship Funny Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
Painted My Life<br />
Every Life In This World<br />
Is Painted By GOD.<br />
I am Thankful To Him<br />
Because When He<br />
Painted My Life<br />
Including<br />
One<br />
Beautiful Colour<br />
Like U…..<br />
As My Friend.<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS <br />
A friend is someone<br />
<br />
A friend is someone<br />
who understands your past,<br />
believes in your future,<br />
and accepts you just the way you are.<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS <br />
Pure friendship<br />
Pure FRIENDSHIP is like SUGARCANE;<br />
you<br />
crush it,<br />
twist it,<br />
squeez it,<br />
beat it to pulp;<br />
all that u’ll get only<br />
“SWEETNESS”<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS <br />
<br />
Hum aur Tum<br />
<br />
Best Gift :- zindegi.<br />
Best Ehasas :- khunshi.<br />
Best Feelings :- pyar.<br />
Best Relation :- dosti.<br />
Best Person :- hum aur tum.<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS <br />
Friends should b like zero.<br />
when u add,<br />
they r same.<br />
when u subtract,<br />
they r same.<br />
when u multiply,<br />
they r same.<br />
when u try to divide,<br />
they become INFINITY.<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS <br />
To meet a Friend<br />
Like you<br />
Is like ,<br />
The delight of rain<br />
After a long Drought<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS <br />
Zindagi k her qadam pe FRIEND HO<br />
<br />
Kal ho “AAJ” jaisa,<br />
Mahal ho “TAJ” Jaisa,<br />
Phool ho “GULAB” jaisa,<br />
or Zindagi k her qadam pe FRIEND HO<br />
?<br />
?<br />
?<br />
?<br />
?<br />
excuse me ?<br />
?<br />
hellO<br />
.<br />
Friend ho ?<br />
.<br />
Mujh jaisa (H):p<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS, Misc SMS Jokes <br />
Heart is like a crystal preserve it,<br />
<br />
Heart is like a crystal preserve it,<br />
love is like a perfume spread it,<br />
feelings are like flood flow it,<br />
Friendship is like umbrella come lets share it.<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS <br />
Flower turns 2 fruit but not vice versa<br />
<br />
“Flower Turns 2 Fruit<br />
But<br />
Fruit Cant Turns To Flower”<br />
<br />
Just Think<br />
Friendship May Turns 2 Love<br />
But<br />
Love Cant Turns 2 Friendship.<br />
Posted in Friendship SMS <br />
Y R U SENDING MSGs 2 dat person?<br />
<br />
One day my brain asked me “Y R U SENDING MSGs<br />
to that person who is not messaging u?<br />
but my little “HEART” said to brain<br />
“U” NEED msgs but i need “FRIENDSHIP<br />
Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure.<br />
<br />
Friends come and go. Enemies pile up.<br />
<br />
You don’t have to have friends; you just have to be friends with them.<br />
<br />
My friend’s friend is my friend. My friend’s girlfriend is my friend. My friend’s boyfriend is just a scum.<br />
<br />
It is good when a dog is your friend, but when your friend is a dog…<br />
<br />
Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand…<br />
<br />
Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.<br />
<br />
A friend is like a book: you don’t need to read all of them, just pick the best ones.<br />
<br />
I would like to know when someone unfriends me on Facebook, so I could like it.<br />
<br />
It’s a pleasure to see you and another – not to see.<br />
<br />
Loneliness is when you get an e-mail but it’s from the newsgroup server.<br />
<br />
‘Are you threatening me?’ ‘It depends, if you got scared – yes I am; if not – I’m only warning you…’<br />
<br />
I found out about you from my last nightmare.<br />
<br />
Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?<br />
<br />
I like the sound of you not talking.<br />
<br />
Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe<br />
I’m not a Facebook status, you don’t have to like me.<br />
I don‘t care what was said about me. Just tell me why they were so comfortable to say it to you.<br />
I found your nose in my business again.<br />
Some people only gets called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.<br />
Don’t tell a lot about yourself, behind your back will tell more interestingly about you.<br />
For sayings, similar to funny friendship sayings, please visi<br />
<br />
Funny sayings about love<br />
Funny sayings about men<br />
Funny sayings about women<br />
Funny sayings about work<br />
Inspirational sayings<br />
<br />
Funny friendship sayings<br />
<br />
Stop googling for the funny friendship sayings – find what you need in funnysayings.eu website. Hundreds of funny sayings grouped into a clear structure, will let you find the funny quotes, wits and sayings that you are looking for. On this page you will find funny friendship sayings, as well as easily navigate to subpages of Funny relationship sayings, Funny sayings about dating and Funny sayings about marriage.<br />
<br />
<br />
Funny friendship sayings:<br />
<br />
Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure.<br />
<br />
Friends come and go. Enemies pile up.<br />
<br />
You don’t have to have friends; you just have to be friends with them.<br />
<br />
My friend’s friend is my friend. My friend’s girlfriend is my friend. My friend’s boyfriend is just a scum.<br />
<br />
It is good when a dog is your friend, but when your friend is a dog…<br />
<br />
Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand…<br />
<br />
Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.<br />
<br />
A friend is like a book: you don’t need to read all of them, just pick the best ones.<br />
<br />
I would like to know when someone unfriends me on Facebook, so I could like it.<br />
<br />
It’s a pleasure to see you and another – not to see.<br />
<br />
Loneliness is when you get an e-mail but it’s from the newsgroup server.<br />
<br />
‘Are you threatening me?’ ‘It depends, if you got scared – yes I am; if not – I’m only warning you…’<br />
<br />
I found out about you from my last nightmare.<br />
Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?<br />
I like the sound of you not talking.<br />
Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe<br />
<br />
<br />
I’m not a Facebook status, you don’t have to like me.<br />
<br />
I don‘t care what was said about me. Just tell me why they were so comfortable to say it to you.<br />
I found your nose in my business again.<br />
Some people only gets called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.<br />
Don’t tell a lot about yourself, behind your back will tell more interestingly about you.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-76481261114390591942014-07-23T15:59:00.001-07:002014-07-24T11:00:53.548-07:00Funny Quotes On Girls Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Quotes On Girls </h2>
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Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls.<br />
For the girls that tell you all guys are the same, nobody told you to try them all out...<br />
I have enough clothes and shoes I never need to go shopping again...' Said no girl ever.<br />
Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.<br />
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.<br />
A good girl gives you happiness and a bad girl gives you experience both are essential in life so enjoy every girlfriend!Good girls are found in every corner of earth. But unfortunately earth is round.<br />
Gilrs get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.<br />
The greatest feminists have also been the greatest lovers. I'm thinking not only of Mary Wollstonecraft and her daughter Mary Shelley, but of Anais Nin, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and of course Sappho. You cannot divide creative juices from human juices. And as long as juicy women are equated with bad women, we will err on the side of being bad<br />
<br />
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.<br />
Audrey Hepburn<br />
<br />
Inspirational, Best, Happy<br />
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.<br />
Albert Einstein<br />
<br />
Funny, Nice, Seems<br />
I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.<br />
<br />
I fell for her in summer, my lovely summer girl,<br />
From summer she is made, my lovely summer girl,<br />
I’d love to spend a winter with my lovely summer girl,<br />
But I’m never warm enough for my lovely summer girl,<br />
It’s summer when she smiles, I’m laughing like a child,<br />
It’s the summer of our lives; we’ll contain it for a while<br />
She holds the heat, the breeze of summer in the circle of her hand<br />
I’d be happy with this summer if it’s all we ever had.”<br />
<br />
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.<br />
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.<br />
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.<br />
I really can't deny it, I am who I am. I'm pretty normal. I'm not that smooth type of girl. I run into things, I trip, I spill food. I say stupid things... I really don't have it all together.<br />
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.<br />
I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty...you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.<br />
It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.<br />
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.<br />
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.<br />
It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people.<br />
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.<br />
What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.<br />
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-43692454192017644892014-07-23T15:30:00.001-07:002014-07-23T15:30:11.584-07:00Funny Monday Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Monday Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
<br /><br />Monday is not a fun day. Unless you’re a weirdo.<br /><br />But that is beside the point. Here are some funny monday quotes and sayings to start your week off as good as possible.<br />On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.<br />Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… ‘Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep<br />Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.<br />Candy is natures way of making up for Mondays.<br />I haven’t had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.<br />God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend<br />Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.<br />Monday must be a man, it comes too quickly<br />All men tend to become angry and irritated on the start of the week. It is the start of the week but is the end of all fun and happiness in life.<br />Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has past and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.<br />I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.<br />Monday, Monday. Can’t trust that day.<br />Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!<br />On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder to myself a lot. Now is it true, or is it not, that what is which and which is what?<br />Oh! Yeah I have to go to work on Mondays and yes every one hates Mondays. But i look at it a little differently. I don’t have to work, I GET to work. I am blessed to have a job while many don’t have one.<br />Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.<br />Imagine having Mondays as a holiday and then it wold be the best thing. Will someone please assist me in making it a official holiday and solve all our Monday blues.<br />Hello, Monday. May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?If only one of the presidential candidates would make it part of his platform to do something about making Monday part of the weekend. I think he would get a lot of votes.Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reaso<br />Why is monday so far from friday but friday so close from monday?Monday is the root of all evilThere should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.The worst part of my Mondays is hearing you complain about Mondays.<br />
The worst part of my Mondays is hearing you complain about Mondays.<br />The only thing that could possibly ruin a beautiful Summer day is it also being Monday.<br />My smile on Mondays is as insincere as a Rush Limbaugh apology.<br />It takes twice as long for me to not get anything done on Monday as it does the rest of the week.The only good thing about seeing my coworkers on Monday is they're the only people I don't have to apologize to for my weekend behavior<br />Monday mornings would be better if they were a part of my weekend-long blackouts.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-28727401808025801942014-07-23T15:02:00.002-07:002014-07-24T11:04:49.165-07:00Funny Quotes Images Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Quotes Images</h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus <br />
― Bob Phillips<br />
Last Christmas someone stole my present. I've spent this year living in the past. <br />
― Terry Alderton<br />
Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money <br />
You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger <br />
― Robert Paul<br />
Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home <br />
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included <br />
― Bernard Manning<br />
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child <br />
― Erma Bombeck<br />
Great jokes are their particular significance in many individuals existence. From An exceptional joke has itself a lesson. So Great joke encourages folks to study and funny things, jokes are essential for a blissful essence. Funniness is a standout amongst the most critical things in most living breathing souls essence. Diversion is a different critical device in the key to finding joy. Funniness might be impeccable in very nearly any sort of factors. Depending on if you are enraged with any you can send a funniness words sms , a card to make him blissful. So Cleverness, exceptional joke are vital part of existence and when a joke is imparted, it ties individuals as one and expands delight and closeness. An exceptional funny joke is solid prescription for psyche and figure. Some individuals utilize cleverness to stow away from their true feelings. Utilizing amusingness to assist get past the troublesome times is a great deal not quite the same as utilizing entertainment to cover up from them. Comicalness has been the origin of amusement all through history. Today diversion is honed in films, plays, tunes, broadcast slots and radio. An exceptional joke constantly has an enormous lesson in it.<br />
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.<br />
If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.<br />
The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.<br />
The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.<br />
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.<br />
It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.<br />
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.<br />
Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?<br />
Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.<br />
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.<br />
It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.<br />
Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.<br />
When anger rises, think of the consequences.<br />
I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.<br />
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.<br />
Death and life have their determined appointments; riches and honors depend upon heaven.<br />
To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness.<br />
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.<br />
If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.<br />
What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.<br />
The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.<br />
Speak the truth, do not yield to anger; give, if thou art asked for little; by these three steps thou wilt go near the gods.<br />
When we see persons of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see persons of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.<br />
An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.<br />
Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant<br />
stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator.<br />
You cannot open a book without learning something.<br />
I want you to be everything that's you, deep at the center of your being.<br />
They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.<br />
Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-19416971856190673212014-07-23T14:35:00.001-07:002014-07-23T14:35:12.028-07:00Funny T Shirts Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny T Shirts Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
I like a variation of one of the above...<br />Vanquish the weak.<br />Hurdle the dead.<br />Arrive triumphant.<br />My brother's cross country t-shirt:<br /><br />This sport would be fun if it wasn't for all the running<br />I have a marathon shirt that says<br />"26.2 miles<br />strength<br />endurance<br />finish line<br />no sweat<br />Yeah..I run like a girl"<br /><br />I also saw one during a marathon that said.."Race entry 80.00, running shoes 100.00, finishing one more marathon than my husband...priceless."<br />My personal favorite is the Hash House harrier shirt that says, " a drinking club with a running problem."<br />I have this shirt, it says "just one more mile" I like to wear that one. A couple of years ago we were gonna get XC shirts that said "we're not fast, you're just slow" or else "we're not slow, you're just fast" but our coach wouldn't let us. I also saw this shirt that said "catch me if u can!" on the back<br />I have a shirt that says<br />I am slow<br />I know<br />Get over it<br />Also...<br /><br />At a race my friend was at there was this guy wearing a shirt that said "If you can read this you've been passed by a fat guy"<br />A Motorcylce one... says .. if you can read this the B&&& fell off <br />These are some quotes that we used for our cross-country shirts at East Fairmont High.<br />Front: We Dont Strech We Like To...<br />Back: RUN STIFF!<br />Front: We Upped Our STandards So....<br />Back: UP YOURS!<br /><br />Front: We Run HARD with our HEAS UP<br />Front: Hills? No Problem...<br />Back: We Go Up And Down ForI have some from my high school days of XC:<br /><br />"Worship me like the running goddess I am."<br />"We play cross country."<br />(on the front) Lady Lions XC<br />(on the back) "Since you're behind, how's mine?"<br />(with matching shorts with "how's mine" on the butt)<br />At Zinga T-Shirts, we take pride in the thousands of printed tees that we produce every year, which is why we only use the best materials for the job. Our custom t-shirts are made from soft, 100% cotton that is designed to retain its vibrant colors and stitching over time. You’ll end up with a tee that looks as great as it feels, every time you wash it.<br />Thanks to the truly amazing durability and washability of our tees, you’ll be laughing at your funny t-shirts and have others jealous of your unique vintage t-shirt designs for a long time to come, as our state of the art process results in the brightest colors and longest lasting printing available. By combining the best t-shirts with the latest in printing technology, Zinga T-Shirts is your one-stop shop for everything from funny, religious or vintage shirt designs, to t-shirts designed to support cancer awareness.<br /><br />If you’re looking for high quality custom t-shirts for your next fundraiser, family reunion, corporate event or other gathering, let us help you create the perfect look for your tees. We offer a catalog of over 2,500 custom designs, with free shipping to the Continental US and incredibly fast production time on every order we process.<br /><br />If you are looking for a truly hassle-free way to get the graphic t-shirts, funny t-shirts and more that you need, see what a difference our customer service and professional custom printing services can make. We offer both retail and wholesale services. Contact Zinga T-Shirts today to learn more.<br />"To give anything less than your best is to sacrafice the Gift. -Pre"<br />"WARNING: the Surgen General didn't say anything about not smoking the competition."<br />We also enjoyed making shirts that taunted our horrible football team with the fact that all four years both boys and girls went to state and they never even had a winning season. They are a little harsh to post on here! :c) <br />Funny T-Shirts: Group 1<br />Without a plan, nothing can go wrong.<br />Will diet for food<br />I live in my own little world, but its okay. They know me there.<br />Gravity . . . It's Not Just a Good Idea, It's the Law.<br />(On a passing motorcyclist)<br />If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off<br />Don’t believe everything you think.<br />Group 2:<br />Ask me about my Narcissism<br />Midwives help people ou<br />I don’t have an attitude. I have a personality you can’t handle.<br />A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.<br />Give me chocolate and no one gets hurt<br />Instant Human: Just Add Coffee <br />I’m Not Trying to be Difficult – it comes naturally<br />I'd Give My Right Arm to be Ambidextrous<br />My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips<br />Marketing: helping people buy useless crap for centuries<br />If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen<br /><br />AAAA The Anti-Acronym Association of America<br />I'm not a gynecologist...<br />...but I'll take a look.<br /><br />Born Free<br />Now I’m expensive<br /><br />I’m not smart but I can lift heavy things<br /><br />Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship<br /><br />INCORRIGIBLE.<br />Encourage at your own risk.<br /><br />Liberal Arts Major . . . Will Think For Food<br />Group 7<br />D.A.D.D. <br />Dads Against Daughters Dating<br />This is the oldest I’ve ever been<br />Often Imitated, Never Duplicated.<br />Down with zippers!<br />Give Me My Damn Senior Discount<br />First Things First<br />(but not necessarily in that order)<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-41066544191416091072014-07-23T13:21:00.001-07:002014-07-23T13:21:16.176-07:00Funny Quote T Shirts Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Quote T Shirts </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
Funny quotes on t-shirts are featured along with hilarious tomfoolery. The funny quotes here feature frivolity that will make you fart, laugh and generally explode with excitement. Forget girly-man graphics, funny quotes are where its at, man. If you like funny quotes on t-shirts and silly sayings and supercilious slogans, you have come to the right place, my friend. <br />So many men, so few who can afford me.<br /> God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.<br />If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.<br />At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all.<br />My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.<br />Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks<br />frog.<br />Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.<br />Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.<br />If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.<br />Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.<br />It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.<br />I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.<br />Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?<br />Next mood swing: 6 minutes.<br />I hate everybody...and you're next.<br />And your point is...?<br />I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.<br />Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.<br />Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.<br />Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.<br />You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.<br />All stressed out and no one to choke.<br /> <br />Funny Quotes on T-shirts<br /><br />Funny quotes on t-shirts are featured along with hilarious tomfoolery. The funny quotes here feature frivolity that will make you fart, laugh and generally explode with excitement. Forget girly-man graphics, funny quotes are where its at, man. If you like funny quotes on t-shirts and silly sayings and supercilious slogans, you have come to the right place, my friend.<br /><br />B1. Caution Blonde Thinking<br />B2. I used to jog 5 miles a day. Then I found a short cut.<br />B3. Not In MY HOUSE<br />B4. Use Your Words<br />B5. Multiple Snoregasms<br />B6. I Want What I Want<br />B7. Do Not Resuscitate<br />B8. Don't Wait! Procrastinate!<br />B9. When the student is ready, the Bastard appears.<br />B10. Following My Bliss Pisses Me Off!<br />B11. Recovering Anal Retentive<br />B12. Conspiracy Theorist<br />B13. I Pee on the Toilet Seat!<br />B14. Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey (which is true in both<br />mechanics and politics)<br />B15. How Stupid Do They Think We Are?<br />B16. Goofballs Rule!<br />B17. I got a pair of hamsters for my teenage son. I think I made a good trade.<br />B18. My camoflauge store went belly up because no one could find it.<br />B19. I would enjoy jogging if it wasn't for those long walks back.<br />B20. My Roommate's An Idiot<br />B21. Kids today are spoiled. But nothing a little refrigeration won't cure.<br />B22. My uncle is a politician. You have to read between the lies.<br />B23. God is a single parent, too.<br />B24. INSOMNIA is nothing to lose sleep over.<br />B25. Chipmunks Who Parachute (conversation starter)<br />B26. My own mortality will be the Death of me yet.<br />B27. Don't bother me. I'm trying to rationalize something.<br />B28. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.<br />B29. I Love My Job, I Love My Job, I Love My Job.<br />B30. Eating Disorder. I can't keep from putting my foot in my mouth.<br />B31. All The Do Da Day<br />B32. Riddle: If 4 drivers come to a 4-way stop at exactly the same time, whose turn is it? It's MY TURN!<br />B33. Irony Poor Blood<br />B34. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah<br />B35. Shape Shifter<br />B36. Just because it takes the Jaws of Life to get my wallet open doesn't mean I'm cheap!<br />B37. Slow Thinkers Keep Right.<br />B38. It's not what others think of you that counts, it's what you think others think of you that counts.<br />B39. I fart, therefore I am<br />B40. Hemorrhoid<br />B41. I bite the hand that feeds me.<br />B42. My kid is a pregant honor student<br />B43. Too Much Reality TV<br />B44. Slow Service With A Smile<br />B45. Are We There, Yet?<br />B46. I Am The Cold Shiver Running Down Your Spine<br />B47. My Time of the Month, Period.<br />B48. Rationalize Something Today!<br />B49. Me So Corny<br />B50. Humans come in all different states of disrepair<br />B51. If you can't beat 'em, annoy 'em!<br />B52. row row row your boat<br />gently down the stream<br />merrily merrily merrily merrily<br />I just have to scream<br />B53. Guns don't kill people, I kill people.<br />B54. Woke up from the American Dream<br />B55. I'm a good habit to get into<br />B56. Vaseline Alley<br />B57. Vacuum Cleaners Suck<br />B58. Doing more harm than good<br />B59. Programmer Needs Job. Willing To Do Windows.<br />B60. Intolerance will not be Tolerated!<br />B61. I'm Not 50. I'm $49.95!<br />B62. I'm A 'Dogs Playing Poker' Kind Of Guy.<br />B63. California: Where even the illegal aliens have cell phones.<br />B64. Warren Terror<br />B65. huked on fonics reely wurked fer mee<br />B66. I'm a Local and if you're not - GO AWAY!<br />B67. Paris Hilton Head<br />B68. Sometimes I Aim To Please, Other Times I Shoot To Kill<br />B69. Princess<br />B70. The Rules Don't Apply To Me<br />B71. The World Owes Me A Living<br />B72. Get a life? Where can I download one?<br />B73. I Pee In The Pool<br />B74. Not Guilty By Reason Of Celebrity<br />B75. OY!<br />B76. Don "Nappy Headed" Ho Receives Hawaiian Punch <br />I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.<br />How can I miss you if you won't go away?<br />Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.<br />If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.<br />Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-11415845797144372522014-07-23T04:27:00.001-07:002014-07-23T04:27:16.604-07:00Pinoy Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Pinoy Funny Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
Mga kaibigan ko? Matakaw, palamura, mahilig mangtrip. Pero totoo silaNever be afraid to take risk<br />As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.<br />At night, l cant sleep. In the morning, l cant wake up<br />As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones<br />Girl: kasya pa ba ako? Boy: saan? Girl: jan sa puso mo. Boy: Oo naman! Sampuan kaya to<br />Gumawa man sila ng paraan para LANDIIN KA. <br />Being a teenager was never too easy but it's unforgettable.<br />Sometimes you'll pretend you're okay, because you don't want to annoy people with your problems<br />Dear Someone, Thank you for coming into my life, thank you for making me smile like crazy, thank you for making me happy.<br />The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to move forward is the happiest<br />Never neglect the people who are most important to you simply because you think they will always be there.<br />Losers quit when they're tired. Winners quit when they've won.<br />Protect your girlfriend like your daughter, love her like a wife, respect her like your mother.<br />Don't judge me. You can't handle half of what I've dealt with. There's a reason I do the things I do, there's a reason I am who I am<br />Everything will be alright. Maybe not now, but eventually<br />I'll always be there when you need me.<br />One day, you’ll just be a memory to some people. Do your best to be a good one<br />I need a person who will correct me if I did something wrong. Not a person who will leave me if I did a simple mistakes<br />TRUE friends are like parents. Sometimes, you don't like what they're saying, but they always love you enough to tell you what's RIGHT<br />Dear Ex....when you see me, I want you to recognize what you had, regret what you've lost, and realize what you’re never getting back.<br />Things worth having are worth waiting for.<br />Friends are those people where u can trust ur secrets, comfort u when u don't know what to do and THE ONE who's always there by your side.<br />Sometimes, memories are the reason why we can't move on.<br />I admit, when I'm in a bad mood, EVERYTHING annoys me.<br />Every girl needs a boy bestfriend<br />Friends are those people where u can trust ur secrets, comfort u when u don't know what to do and THE ONE who's always there by your side.<br />Never expect. Never assume. Never ask. Never demand. Just let it be. If it's meant to be, it will happen.<br />TRUE friends are like parents. Sometimes, you don't like what they're saying, but they always love you enough to tell you what's RIGHT.<br />
Ikaw yung pinakamagandang bagay na dumating sa akin, kaya hinding hindi ko hahayaan na basta basta ka na lang mawawala sakin."<br />"When you do great things, humility reminds you to be thankful instead of boastful."<br />Nainlove ka dahil maganda buhok niya? Kelan pa tumibok ang buhokDream what you want to dream and be what you want to be. Because you have only one life to do all the things you want to do.<br />May kasabihan tayo na ang taong maagang gumising, maraming gagawin. Kaya para makaligtas sa mga gawain, magpatanghali ng gisin<br />Pag crush kita, dapat crush mo din ako. Respeto lang ba.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-87787642114980578932014-07-23T04:01:00.004-07:002014-07-23T04:01:57.175-07:00Life Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Life Funny Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
I like life. It's something to do. - <br />Always have something beautiful in sight, even if it's only a poster on a wall. - <br />If you're always busy busy busy, you can't enjoy enjoy enjoy your life. - <br />Everyone is born equal in life, until they get married.<br />That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another... -<br />Here is a great collection of witty funny sayings that is sure to put a smile on your face. Cast your vote for the best saying and see which phrases other people liked. - <br />Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time... - <br />If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! - <br />You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. - <br />The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!<br />When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window - <br />No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid - <br />A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back - <br />Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. <br />The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing - <br />In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it. - <br />I tried taking everything in life with a grain of salt, but after using up two bags of salt I gave <br />I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes. - <br />Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring. - <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-4682815565511849012014-07-23T03:36:00.002-07:002014-07-24T11:09:59.897-07:00Sarcastic Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Sarcastic Funny Quotes </h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”shleigh Brilliant<br />
“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”Paul Newman<br />
“It's a catastrophic success.”Stephen Bishop<br />
“I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.”Stephen Bishop<br />
“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”Abba Eban<br />
“No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.”Groucho Marx<br />
“How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.”Groucho Marx<br />
“A man is as young as the woman he feels.”Groucho Marx<br />
“A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.”Groucho Marx<br />
“Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!”Groucho Marx<br />
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”Groucho Marx<br />
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”Groucho Marx<br />
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”Groucho Marx<br />
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”Groucho Marx<br />
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”<br />
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.”Groucho Marx<br />
“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”Frank Zappa<br />
“The 100% American is 99% idiot.”George Bernard Shaw<br />
“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”George Bernard Shaw<br />
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”Oscar Wilde<br />
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”Oscar Wilde<br />
“I am not young enough to know everything.”Oscar Wilde<br />
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”Oscar Wilde<br />
“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.”Victor Borge<br />
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”Mark Twain<br />
“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”Mark Twain<br />
“Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.”Mark Twain<br />
“Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.”Mark Twai<br />
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”Mark Twain<br />
“I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.”<br />
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”Clarence Darrow<br />
“If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?”Charles Pierce<br />
“You have delighted us long enough.”Jane Auste<br />
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”Winston Churchill<br />
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”William Faulkner<br />
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”Ernest Hemingway<br />
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”Abraham Lincoln<br />
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”Irvin S Cobb<br />
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”Forrest Tucker<br />
“He has Van Gogh's ear for music.”Billy Wilder<br />
“The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.”Dave Barry<br />
“It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.”Caron de Beaumarchais<br />
“Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”Ambrose Bierce<br />
“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”Ambrose Bierce<br />
“Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victems he intends to eat until he eats them.”<br />
I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?”Jean Cocteau<br />
“The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights.”J Paul Getty<br />
“When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.”Eric Hoffer<br />
“A good listener is usually thinking about something else.”Kin Hubbard<br />
“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”Oscar Levant<br />
“Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in memory as the wish to forget it.”Montaigne<br />
“The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.”Ogden Nash<br />
“I wish we were better strangers.”Unknow<br />
“I'll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.”Unknown<br />
“I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.”Woody Allen<br />
“As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”Woody Allen<br />
“I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.”Ludwig Wittgenstein<br />
“Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.”Frank Lloyd Wright<br />
“We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.”Vince Lombardi<br />
“A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.<br />
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.”Goethe<br />
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”Drew Carey<br />
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“Stay with me; I want to be alone”Joey Adams<br />
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”Steven Wright<br />
“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”Kurt Vonnegut<br />
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”Emo Philips<br />
“If at first you don't succeed, try something easier.”Sarcasm Society<br />
“He never slows down to think; it's too painful to spend times with his own thoughts.”Sarcasm Society<br />
“It's never too late to go wrong.”Sarcasm Society<br />
“The problem with common sense is that most people are morons.”Sarcasm Society<br />
“One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.”Will Durant<br />
“It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor”John Cleese<br />
“Personal experience makes a believer out of anyone; that explains the hordes of evolution deniers.”Sarcasm Society<br />
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”Drew Carey<br />
“Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-42007300178684894482014-07-23T03:18:00.000-07:002014-07-23T03:18:43.263-07:00 Funny Short Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Short Quotes</h2>
Source link Google.com.pk<br />
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers - <br />When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. - <br />He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor <br />There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer - <br />Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you! - <br />The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory - Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.<br />11- Sweetest kiss- On the head. Loveliest kiss- On cheeks! Most romantic kiss- On the lips! & the hottest kiss? On The bike’s silencer<br />If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… just couple of nations not talking with each other.<br />My husband and I<br />divorced over religious<br />differences – He<br />thought he was God.<br />I wonder If a bra is called an ‘over the shoulder bolder holder’, then what would you call men underwear?<br />It would be known as under the but nut hut?<br />1- You can’t wash your eyes with soap.<br />2- You can’t count your hairs.<br />3- You can’t breathe through your nose, with your tongue out.<br />4- You just tried No.3.<br />6- When you did No.3 you realized it’s possible only you look like a dog.<br />7- You’re smiling right now because you’re fooled.<br />8- You skipped No. 5.<br />9- You just checked to see if there’s No. 5<br />10- Share this with your friends to have some fun too<br />It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liarWhen a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why.<br />Strange thing about women’s brain, there’s nothing right in left side, and nothing left on the right side.<br />Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and husbands<br />There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.<br />Oscar Wilde<br />I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.<br />I have finally been diagnosed…!!! I have a serious condition known as “Awesomeness” but don’t worry, none of you can get it because its not contagious!<br />He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot<br />But when a fifteen year old married couple smile everyone wonders why..!!<br />Do you know what I’m thinking? No. Neither d I; frightening, isn’t it<br />
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either<br />He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot<br />Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.<br />Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least 5 years to the age of their best friend.Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-77420897282214836582014-07-23T03:01:00.001-07:002014-07-23T03:01:39.659-07:00Crazy Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Crazy Funny Quotes </h2>
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The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.<br />You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven.<br />'Crazy' is a term of art; 'Insane' is a term of law. Remember that, and you will save yourself a lot of trouble<br />I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess.<br />Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live.<br />Things don't just happen in this world of arising and passing away. We don't live in some kind of crazy, accidental universe. Things happen according to certain laws, laws of nature. Laws such as the law of karma, which teaches us that as a certain seed gets planted, so will that fruit be.<br />There's no excuse to be bored. Sad, yes. Angry, yes. Depressed, yes. Crazy, yes. But there's no excuse for boredom, ever<br />My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.<br />I'm a fan of horrors. I love the ones that make you jump. My girlfriend hates it. I've been dating her for one-and-a-half years and I'm crazy about her, but she's terrified of horror films. Not the cute 'Will you hold me?' way, but she's weeping. With 'House of Wax,' we'll be sleeping and I'll go to the bathroom and she's sitting up waiting for me.<br />If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up<br />I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes<br />I've learned that I want what I deny. I want someone who is crazy about me, who treats me like a princess. I want the picture-perfect fairy tale stuff.<br />What is exciting is not for one person to be stronger than the other... but for two people to have met their match and yet they are equally as stubborn, as obstinate, as passionate, as crazy as the other.<br />Barbra Streisand<br /> <br />Strength, Exciting, Stronger<br />When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.<br />Don't let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream, and he thinks you're crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you're lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you're greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn't understand<br />I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes.<br />I praticed making faces in the mirror and it would drive my mother crazy. She used to scare me by saying that I was going to see the devil if I kept looking in the mirror. That fascinated me even more, of course.<br />Don't let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream, and he thinks you're crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you're lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you're greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn't understand.<br />A lot of people are crazy, cruel and negative. They got a little too much time on their hands to discuss everybody else. I have a limited amount of energy to blow in a day. I'd rather read something that I like or watch a program I enjoy or ride my damn motorcycle or throw back a couple of shots of tequila with my friend<br /><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10541530429062072804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256414919855740712.post-77247703960414068622014-07-23T02:40:00.000-07:002014-07-23T02:40:00.268-07:00Funny Friday Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About School Tumblr for Kids Tagalog Photos Pics <h2>
About Funny Friday Quotes </h2>
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I've been saying for a couple of years now that people need to let God out of the Sunday morning box, that He doesn't want to just be with you for an hour or two on Sunday morning and then put back in His box to sit there until you have an emergency, but He wants to invade your Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.<br />My grandmother took me to church on Sunday all day long, every Sunday into the night. Then Monday evening was the missionary meeting. Tuesday evening was usher board meeting. Wednesday evening was prayer meeting. Thursday evening was visit the sick. Friday evening was choir practice. I mean, and at all those gatherings, we sang<br />You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There's another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity.<br />If it comes back, I think that Friday night is not a good night to be on<br />To be honest, when I'm home, every day is a Friday for me. It doesn't really matter what day it is for me. A lot of my friends actually have time off during the week, and so it doesn't prohibit me from enjoying myself when I am home on a Monday or a Tuesday.<br />I have never in my life found myself in a situation where I've stopped work and said, 'Thank God it's Friday.' But weekends are special even if your schedule is all over the place. Something tells you the weekend has arrived and you can indulge yourself a bit.<br />In a psychiatric hospital, a lot of people believe that people on TV are talking to them directly through the screen. I'm with about 500 of these people, and I'm on TV every Friday night. As I was queuing up for breakfast one morning, one guy nearly jumped out of his skin. My first thought was to go 'Woooo!'<br />I love horror. I love 'The Shining,' 'Friday the 13th,' 'Halloween,' all those kinds of things. I love zombies, especially '28 Days Later' and '28 Weeks Later,' where the zombies are going faster than the George Romero ones. I love being scared; there's something that's awesome about your heart rate going up like that.<br />That smell of freshly cut grass makes me think of Friday night football in high school. The smell of popcorn and cigar smoke reminds me of the stadium. The cutting of the grass reminds me of the August practice.<br />There are pros and cons of experience. A con is that you can't look at the business with a fresh pair of eyes and as objectively as if you were a new CEO. Fire yourself on a Friday night and come in on Monday morning as if a search firm put you there as a turn-around leader. Can you be objective and make the bold change?<br />'Friday' is about hanging out with friends, having fun. I felt like it was my personality in that song<br />I was an OK boxer, I wasn't great, I was OK, but I loved the discipline of getting together every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, usually Saturday afternoons too, with a whole bunch of mates and training, very, very hard for about two-and-half hours.<br />I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time.<br />For most Americans, Friday afternoons are filled with positive anticipation of the weekend. In Washington, it's where government officials dump stories they want to bury. Good news gets dropped on Monday so bureaucrats can talk about it all week.<br />
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